5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children   From the time a baby is born until they establish themselves as adults, most parents are at least a little concerned with how intelligent their child will be. They may get a little worried if their best friend’s kid started talking earlier or if their teen didn’t make the honor roll.     But what about the type of intelligence that doesn’t impact a kid’s ability to solve math equations or memorize state capitols?    We’re talking about emotional intelligence, and though it might not get quite as much “air time” among parents’ concerns, we’re here to convince you that it’s just as important to your child’s future as their academic performance.   What is emotional intelligence?   Emotional intelligence (EQ) is our ability to identify and manage the emotions of ourselves and others. EQ refers to the way that we perceive, process, regulate, and use emotional information.   For example, if your child has high EQ, they might manage a conflict with a friend in the following manner:    Emotional Perception  – “I’ve noticed that Hailey has been ignoring me at recess so I think she might be mad at me.”  Emotional Process  – “I’m feeling lonely and hurt because Hailey is ignoring me, but I’m not going to let it ruin my day. I have lots of people that care about me and I’m sure I’ll get through this.”  Emotional Regulation  – “I think I’ll ask Hailey about why she’s angry at me, but first I’m going to take a walk to calm down and think about what I should say.”  Emotional Utilization  – “Now that I’m feeling calm, I’m going to ask Hailey if she’s angry with me and talk to her about how we can work it out.”     How EQ impacts your child’s life   A person’s EQ guides their behaviors and impacts their career, relationships, and overall well-being. While IQ may be a good indicator of your child’s academic potential, it won’t necessarily help them relate to others or manage challenges. Some argue that EQ is more important to success than IQ, as EQ has shown to have stronger influence on stress management, team cohesiveness, and job performance than technical knowledge.   Why is EQ so critical?   Studies have shown that American children have steadily declined in emotional intelligence over the past several decades. A growing number of kids are struggling with anxiety, impulsivity, disobedience, anger, loneliness, and depression. An unfortunate reflection of this trend is also seen in the growing prevalence of school violence since the 1990’s. To address this alarming concern, it’s important that parents and educators understand how to cultivate emotional intelligence in children.   How can I raise an emotionally intelligent child?    Just as there are academic prodigies who seemed to master calculus from within the womb, there are kids who naturally have a higher EQ than others. Whether a child is “emotionally gifted” or not, studies have shown that emotional intelligence can be taught and increased in children.   Here are 5 tips for raising an emotionally intelligent child:     1. Be an emotional "label maker"   Emotionally intelligent people understand and accept their emotions as they experience them. This insight allows them to identify what they are feeling and understand that their emotions are temporary. Big emotions can feel very overwhelming to little people, so help your child understand their feelings by “labeling” them as they come up. This will help them realize that their feelings are a normal part of life that can be worked through.   Example: “You’re feeling angry because it’s your brother’s turn to pick the movie we watch. Everyone feels angry sometimes, and it’s ok to feel that way.”    2. Become an "empathy" model   While you may not be a fitness or swimsuit model, parenting gives you a chance to model your best body part – your heart! Modeling empathy, especially when you don’t agree with your child, is an effective way to show them how to acknowledge the perspectives of others even when they don’t see eye to eye. Empathizing does not mean you have to let your parental boundaries cave in, it simply means you validate their feelings while sticking to your rules.   Example: “I understand that it’s hard for you to stop playing and come inside, but it’s time for dinner.”    3. Encourage expression   When your child starts the dreaded “whine-talk” or temper tantrum, it can be tempting to plug your ears and send them to their room. Unfortunately, this tells your child that expressing negative emotions is unacceptable, causing them to repress their feelings rather than learning how to managing them. When your child gets upset, encourage them to use calm words to explain how they are feeling. Try to stop viewing negative emotions as harmful – instead, view them as a teaching opportunity to show your child how to express emotions in a calm, healthy way.   Example: “It looks like you’re feeling sad because your sister was leaving you out of the game. It’s ok to be sad, but it’s never ok to hit. Use calm words to tell your sister how you are feeling.”    4. Increase their interactions   Children of previous generations spent a lot more time playing with other children – a behavior that naturally cultivates EQ. Today’s kids tend to spend a lot of time indoors, limiting their emotional interactions. Limit screen time and allow your child to have plenty of unstructured social time with peers. Take the time to actively talk and listen to them without distractions. Even if your child is yelling at you to go away, a child’s rage and sadness often can’t dissipate until they feel heard and understood. Put your phone away, let the laundry wait, and tell your child you want to listen.   Example: “I know you said you’re angry and that you want to be alone, but I just want you to know that I’m here and I want to listen.    5. Empower problem solving   Your child’s homework will almost always revolve around solving academic problems – things like figuring out which train will reach its destination faster or determining how to make an egg survive being thrown off a building. Emotional conundrums might not be in their weekly homework packet, but they deserve just as much attention. When your child is upset or disappointed, encourage them by offering to help them brainstorm ideas to overcome their difficult emotions.   Example: “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because your friend hurt your feelings. When you’re feeling calm, let’s think of things you can say to help her understand how you feel.”    Variations can help   Emotional intelligence is a critical aspect in your child’s development, social relationships, mental health, and life-long success. If you are concerned about your child’s EQ development or just want to learn more ways to support their emotional growth, Variations Psychology can help.        
 
	 click here to find a specialists that's right for you 
       Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life:      

 
   
     
      
        
     

     

       

        
          

            

          

            
               

                 
                   First Name 
                   
                 

                 
                   Last Name 
                   
                 

               
            

          
        

        

          
             
               Email Address 
               
             
          

        

          

        

       

       
            Sign Up    
       

     

    
        We respect your privacy.  
    

     Thank you! 
      

   

 
       
     Y.on("domready", function(){
     Y.all('input[name="lname"]').setAttribute("value", "NA");
     });
            Found this article helpful?     Rate and review us on Google and Yelp               

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.    More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams). See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you.  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
    
         REFERENCES   Bar-On, R., Maree, J.G., & Elias, M.J. (2007)  Educating People To Be Emotionally Intelligent.  Heinemann Publishers.   Gottman, J. (1997)  Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child . Simon & Schuster.  Mikolajczak, Moïra et al.  The moderating impact of emotional intelligence on free cortisol responses to stress Psychoneuroendocrinology , Volume 32 , Issue 8 , 1000 - 1012     Laura Thi Lam & Susan L. Kirby (2010) Is Emotional Intelligence an Advantage? An Exploration of the Impact of Emotional and General Intelligence on Individual Performance, The Journal of Social Psychology, 142:1, 133-143,DOI: 10.1080/00224540209603891   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). 5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children.   Psychologically Speaking .   [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/tips-for-raising-emotionally-intelligent-children

5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children

From the time a baby is born until they establish themselves as adults, most parents are at least a little concerned with how intelligent their child will be. They may get a little worried if their best friend’s kid started talking earlier or if their teen didn’t make the honor roll.  

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      “How do I prepare my child for a new sibling?”   Welcoming a new baby is both exciting and nerve-wracking. Where will we put the nursery? What will we do about childcare? And how on earth will we prepare our older kids for a new baby?! The thought of adjusting your child to a new sibling can be worrisome, as many kids struggle with the idea of their parents’ love and attention being shared with another person.    So how can parents prepare their kid for a new sibling?     1. Postpone major changes   Adjusting to a new sibling is a major change, so try not to make any other big changes around the time of the baby’s birth. If you need to move your kid to a different bedroom to make way for the nursery, do it well before the baby is born to give them time to adjust. If you planned on potty training soon, consider waiting until the baby is a few months old. Also, know that it’s common for older kids to regress when a new baby arrives by going back to   wetting the bed   or wanting a bottle. This is their way of expressing that they still need you.   2. Get them involved   Involve your child in preparing for the new baby’s arrival. This will make them feel included in your family’s change and help to build excitement for the new addition. Let them help you decorate the nursery and take them shopping for bottles and onesies. Ask them their opinions on baby names and bring them to appointments so they can hear the baby’s heartbeat. When your baby is born, give them jobs to do, such as feeding or singing lullabies. Just don’t overdo it – let them lead on how much responsibility they’d like to take.   3. Manage expectations   Read your child books about babies. Show them their newborn photos or baby book and tell them stories about their infant phase. Ask them about their dreams for things to do with their new sibling – teaching them how to play baseball, walking them in a stroller, reading to them, etc. Encourage their ideas but also let them know that the baby will not be an instant playmate. Share that in the beginning, babies mostly eat, sleep, and poop, but in due time they will be an eager playmate to share adventures with their big brother or sister.   4. Explain the delivery game plan   Explain to your child how they’ll be cared for while you are in the hospital. Let them know who will be picking them up, where they’ll be staying, and when they’ll be able visit you and the new baby. Get them excited about having a few sleepovers at their friend’s or grandparents’ house while mom and dad are away.   5. Amp up attention   It’s important to give your older child lots of attention as they adjust to the adorable new sheriff in town. Hang a photo of your older child by your hospital bed so they see that they’re always on your mind. Make sure to shower them with lots of praise and remind visitors to give them attention when they come to meet the new baby. Make time for one-on-one bonding with your older child, such as   playing with them  ,     going to a park, or watching a movie together.   6. Give a gift from the baby   One way to ensure the new baby is on your firstborn’s good side is to buy a gift for them that’s “from” the baby. Even if your kid is a little older and realizes a newborn can’t order toys on line, they’ll associate this new, awesome gift as a reminder that the baby is a not a threat to their needs.   7. Acknowledge their feelings   If your kid expresses fear, anger, sadness, or jealousy about gaining a sibling, listen and let them know you understand. Never criticize them for having negative feelings – instead, help them label their emotions and talk about   healthy ways to deal with them   .  Let them know it’s ok to feel upset, but it’s never ok to hurt the baby. Give them a few ideas for   how to vent their frustrations  , such as roaring like a lion or drawing an angry picture.   8. Reassure your love   Your child may be scared that you’re trying to replace them by having a new baby. Let them know that the reason you’re having a baby is to give them a sibling that they will be friends with forever. Remind them that you have enough love for both of them to have an endless supply. Schedule alone time that is just for you to give your older child undivided attention. A great time for this is when baby is sleeping and can’t interrupt. Use this time to cuddle, play, or make your child’s favorite food together.   9. Know when to get help   Some children have an especially difficult time adjusting to the arrival of a new sibling. If your child is distressed or   acting out  , we can help.   SPECIALISTS:    Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Ph.D.,  is an expert in Child and Educational Psychology. If you are concerned that your child is struggling to adjust to a new sibling, Dr. Shinn can recommend support.       


   
     
      
        Request a Consultation with Dr. Shinn
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Shinn 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Dr. Elsa Torres, Psy.D.  is a specialist in counseling. If you are concerned about how a new baby will impact your children, Dr. Torres can support you with effective tools to overcome challenges and strengthen your family bond.      
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Torres 
       Dr. Weir, Psy.D.,  is an expert in Infant and Toddler Psychology. If you’re worried that your toddler is distressed by the arrival of a new sibling, Dr. Weir can provide an evaluation.      


   
     
      
        Click Here to Request an Assessment Consultation
      
     
   


 
   Assessment Consultation 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life         
     Y.on("domready", function(){
     Y.all('input[name="lname"]').setAttribute("value", "X");
     });
          

 
   
     
      
        
     

     

       

        
          

            

          

            
               

                 
                   First Name 
                   
                 

                 
                   Last Name 
                   
                 

               
            

          
        

        

          
             
               Email Address 
               
             
          

        

          

        

       

       
            Sign Up    
       

     

    
        We respect your privacy.  
    

     Thank you! 
      

   

 
      Found this article helpful?     Rate and review us on Google and Yelp               

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   Laule, S. (2017). New Baby Sibling . University of Michigan. C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital. Michigan Medicine.  Retrieved from https://www.mottchildren.org/posts/your-child/new-baby-sibling  Gary, J. (n.d.) Preparing Your Child for a New Sibling.  Child Mind Institute . Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/preparing-child-new-sibling/  Preparing Children for the Birth of a Sibling. (n.d.)  Melbourne Child Psychology & School Psychology Services, Port Melbourne.  Retrieved from https://www.melbournechildpsychology.com.au/blog/preparing-children-for-the-birth-of-a-sibling/  Shinn. M.M. (2018). 5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/5-tips-for-raising-emotionally-intelligent-children     Shinn. M.M. (2019). 8 Tips to Calm Your Kid While Keeping Your Cool.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/8-tips-to-calm-your-kid-while-keeping-your-cool   Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Kid is So Defiant – Is It My Fault?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-is-so-defiant-is-it-my-fault     Shinn. M.M. (2018). My Kid Still Wets the Bed – What Should I Do?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-still-wets-the-bed-what-should-i-do   Shinn. M.M. (2018). The Parents Guide to Play: 9 Tips to Ignite Your Child’s Learning.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/the-parents-guide-to-play-9-tips-to-ignite-your-childs-learning     Volling B. L. (2012). Family transitions following the birth of a sibling: an empirical review of changes in the firstborn's adjustment.  Psychological bulletin ,  138 (3), 497–528. doi:10.1037/a0026921   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn. M.M. (2019). How Do I Prepare My Child for a New Sibling?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/test-blog/how-do-i-prepare-my-child-for-a-new-sibling

“How do I prepare my child for a new sibling?”

Finding out you’re having a new baby is exciting – but it can also be scary if you have another kid who would rather watch the news than share their parents with another tiny human! Check out our blog on 8 ways to prepare your kid for a new sibling.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      “How do I Teach My Teen about Consent in Relationships?”   With the rise of the “Me Too” and “Time’s Up” movements, the topic of consent has become more talked about than ever. As teens reach their   dating years  , many parents worry about them being taken advantage of or being unfairly accused of violating consent. While there are some controversies about what can be deemed as consensual, a teen’s best bet is to seek clear, verbal consent before kissing, touching, or becoming intimate with another person.    So what should parents teach their teens to help them understand consent?      1. Clarify consent   Explain to your teen that consent means the other person clearly and verbally tells them they want to move forward with whatever they’re asking them to do. Consent is something your teen should seek from the other person, regardless of their gender. Seeking consent shows the other person that you respect their body and do not want to make them uncomfortable. Your teen should also know that their consent should always be sought, valued, and respected.    2. Supply sample questions   There are many ways to ask for someone’s consent. Give your teen some examples so they’re prepared to clearly communicate with the person they are interested in:     “Before we go any further, do you want to do this?”    “Can I kiss you?”    “Do you like when I do this?”    “Is this ok? It’s fine if you want to wait.”     3. Describe body language   Remind your kid that a lack of “no” does not mean “go.” A person’s verbal answer is only part of the equation when determining consent. If your teen’s date says, “yes,” but their tone or body language seems hesitant, guarded, or unsure, it’s always wise to give them an “out” in case they aren’t comfortable.   Example:    “You seem like you might be unsure. We can wait if you want to - it’s really ok.”  “I know we just met. If you don’t want to do this I won’t be upset.”  “I respect you and I want to make sure you’re comfortable before we go any further.”   Does your teen have autism and you’re concerned about them struggling to understand body language as they enter the dating scene?     Click below to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to learn how our Specialists can help      


   
     
      
        15 Minute consultation
      
     
   


 
   15 Minute consultation 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 When is a good time and date to call you?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      4. Kick coercion to the curb   Remind your teen that if the other person says no or seems hesitant, it’s not ok to coerce a “yes” out of them by saying things like, “Come on, don’t be a tease,” or, “I thought you were cool.” Even if they reluctantly agree after being guilted, their answer would not be considered consensual. Explain to your teen that no one should ever try to guilt them into doing things they aren’t comfortable with, and they should attempt to leave the situation if they feel pressured. Give your kid a few examples of things they can say if they are feeling guilted or coerced.   Examples:   “But I love you!”  “If you loved me you wouldn’t try to pressure me to do something I’m not ready for.”  “We done this before, why not now?”  “I can change my mind. It’s my body and my life.”  “Everyone does it!”  “Well, I’m not everyone. And everyone doesn’t do it – even some of the people that say they do!”  “Come on, your parents aren’t going to be home for hours.”  “You don’t know that for sure, they could come back any time. I’m not going to risk it.”    5. Emphasize boundaries   Empower your teen to set clear boundaries with their date and explain the importance of respecting the boundaries of others.    Examples:    Emotional boundary  – “I won’t be pressured into having sex .”    Physical   boundary  – “I am not ok with you putting your hands under my clothes.”   Digital boundary  - “I will not send you sexual photos.”     6. Stress sobriety   Hopefully your teen and their peers are not using   drugs or alcohol  , but they should still be aware that a person is not capable of giving consent if they are under the influence. Tell your teen that if they’re looking forward to their first kiss with their crush at prom, they should make sure their date is sober before asking for their consent to kiss.   7. Rehearse responses   It can be hard for teens to hear, “no,” from a person they’re really crushing on. However, it’s important that they learn to respond respectfully to being turned down. Encourage them to keep their responses simple and neutral. Tell them to avoid expressing anger, frustration, or disappointment.      Examples:   “Can I take off your shirt?”  “No – I’m not ready for that yet.”  “Ok, no problem.”     “You look so hot in that photo you sent me earlier. Can I show it to my friends?”  “I’m not really comfortable with that.”  “Alright, I’ll keep it between you and me.”  “Do you want to have sex?”  “I’ve always planned on waiting until I’m married.”  “That’s fine – I respect that.”   8. Keep consent a family value   Modeling consent is a great way to teach your teen how to value the boundaries of others. Ask your teen for permission before you post pictures or stories about them on social media. Don’t force affection; if they don’t want a hug or a kiss right now, let them know you respect their physical boundaries.    9. Make media a teaching tool   Unfortunately, consent is not always valued in the shows and music our teens are exposed to. The silver lining is that you can use these examples to teach your teen to identify when consent isn’t being respected. The next time a celebrity has a high-profile case on TV, or the next time a questionable song comes on the radio, engage your teen in conversation about how consent was being violated. Similarly, if a celebrity provides a positive example of respecting the consent of others, point out their actions to your kid.   10. Remember it’s revocable   Remind your teen that consent is revocable at any time. That means if their date says yes, then changes their mind a few minutes later, your teen needs to respect their revoked consent and stop what they’re doing.    11. Ingrain the impact    Help your teen build empathy by explaining the emotional impact of things like sexual assault and harassment or   cyberbullying    on others. If you hear your kid referring to others as sexual objects, explain to them that it’s important to respect the privacy, bodies, and values of others, just as they would want theirs respected in return.     12. Teach how to get help   Hopefully your teen will never find themselves in a situation where their consent is not respected, but if they do, it’s important they know where to turn. Give them a code phrase to text you if they’re in an unsafe situation. Encourage them to speak to a teacher, school counselor, or other mental health specialist if they need support. If you would like guidance in teaching your teen about consent and safe dating, we can help.    SPECIALISTS:    Dr. Daniella A. Davis, Psy.D. , is an expert in dealing with the unique challenges that women face throughout each stage of life. If you are a mom wanting support with teaching your teens about dating and consent, Dr. Davis can guide you.     
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Davis 
       Dr. Elsa Torres, Psy.D.  is a specialist in counseling and diagnostic testing. If you think your   teen may have autism       or other intellectual challenges that make it difficult for them to understand consent, Dr. Torres can provide testing and guidance to help your teen overcome obstacles.      
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Torres 
       Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Ph.D.,  is an expert in Child and Educational psychology. It’s never too young to start teaching children about respecting others’ boundaries; if you would like to learn more ways to educate your children or teens on consent, Dr. Shinn can recommend support.       


   
     
      
        Request a consultation with Dr. Shinn
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Shinn 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 When is a good time and date to call you?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life         
     Y.on("domready", function(){
     Y.all('input[name="lname"]').setAttribute("value", "X");
     });
          

 
   
     
      
        
     

     

       

        

        

          
             
               Email Address 
               
             
          

        

          

        

       

       
            Sign Up    
       

     

    
        We respect your privacy.  
    

     Thank you! 
      

   

 
      Found this article helpful?     Rate and review us on Google and Yelp               

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.  More about Variations Psychology  Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Teens Consent. (n.d.)  HealthyTeens.org.  Retrieved from http://menengage.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Teaching-Teens-Consent.pdf  Talking to Your Kids About Consent: Conversations for Parents. (n.d.)  Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance.  Retrieved from http://storage.cloversites.com/virginiasexualdomesticviolenceactionallianc/documents/Parent%20discussion%20guide%202018-FINAL.pdf   Teaching Sexual Consent in Your Classroom. (2019).  University of California, Santa Barbara.  Retrieved from http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/article/teaching-consent-your-classroom    Shinn. M.M. (2019). 10 Tricks for Talking Back and Keeping Safe from Bullies.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from   https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/10-tricks-for-talking-back-and-keeping-safe-from-bullies    Shinn. M.M. (2019). Could My Teen Have Autism?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from   https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/could-my-teen-have-autism    Shinn. M.M. (2019). How Do I Talk to My Teen About Drugs and Alcohol?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from   https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/how-do-i-talk-to-my-teen-about-drugs-and-alcohol    Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Teen is Dating – What Do I Do?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from   https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-teen-is-dating-what-do-i-do      How to Cite This Blog Article:    Shinn. M.M. (2019). How Do I Teach My Teens About Consent?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/test-blog/how-do-i-teach-my-teen-about-consent-in-relationships

“How do I Teach My Teen about Consent in Relationships?”

With the rise of the “Me Too” and “Time’s Up” movements, the topic of consent is more prevalent than ever. Many parents worry about their teens being taken advantaged of or being unfairly accused. Check out our blog to learn how you can support your teen in clearly understanding consent.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      10 Ways to Bond with Your Child as a Foster or Adoptive Dad   Being chosen as a foster or adoptive dad can be one of life’s most fulfilling experiences. But, it can also make a guy a little nervous. When the day comes for you to welcome your child to their new home, it’s normal to worry if you’ll be able to connect with them. The good news is, adoptive and foster fathers are able to form bonds just as strongly as bio-dads.    So what can a foster/adoptive dad do to strengthen the bond with his new child?     1. Prepare to be patient     There’s no need to feel rushed in becoming super close with your new kid, as bonding is a process that happens over time. Practice patience and remember you have a lifetime to establish your relationship and deepen your parent-child connection.      2. Expect some bumps in the road     Expect that your child may be fussy, have trouble sleeping, or not eat much the first few weeks while they transition to their new environment. They may also try to test your limits by acting out, so focus on praising good behaviors to reinforce them.    Check out our pro-tips for dads on increasing kids’ positive behaviors     3. Share responsibilities     Hopefully you’ll have support in tending to your child’s needs either from a significant other, helpful relative, friend, or babysitter. Just remember that a child is most open to bonding after their needs have been met, so make an effort to help with diaper-duty and feedings for younger kids and homework and school pick-ups for older ones. Bandage their owies, cuddle them often, and let them know you’re always there for them.      4. Bond through language     Regardless of your child’s age, talking to them will increase your connection. Read them stories and ask them about their interests, thoughts, and feelings. Kneel down to their level and make eye contact as you talk. Talking to them boosts their vocabulary and makes them feel worthy of your attention.     5. Show em’ the ropes     A great way to reinforce your role as their dad is to teach them life skills. Tell your kid what you’re doing while you’re making dinner, shaving, or washing your car. Give them play-by-plays even when you’re just hanging out or doing housework. This will give your child great memories of all of the things that daddy taught them.      6. Hang family photos     Displaying pictures of your new child is a great way to show them that they’re part of the family and help them feel connected to their home environment. Take pictures of memorable moments and hang them throughout the house for visitors to see. Remember to use phrases like “our home” rather than “my house” – this will help them feel less like an outsider.  If you have an older child, ask if there are any pictures of their biological family they’d like to hang up. Being open and acknowledging their emotions will encourage them to trust you.     7. Allow alone time     Being alone with your kid can be a little scary at first. You may ask yourself things like, “am I going to break the baby?!” or “how can I keep a 10-year-old entertained for 3 hours?!” But alone time is very important for bonding. Hang out with your child while your significant other runs errands. Go for walks, start a craft project together, or play at the park. Quality time with your kid will build your connection and boost your confidence as a new dad.     8. Start some traditions      Establish a few special traditions to give your child something meaningful to look forward to. Some ideas include:    A nightly lullaby and bedtime story     Playing catch at the park on Saturdays    Friday movie night    Sunday morning breakfast with “dad’s famous pancakes”    If your child was adopted from a different country or culture, pick an important holiday from their heritage and celebrate it each year     9. Nurture your relationship     Transitioning into parenthood can challenge any marriage or relationship, especially with the added stress of adjusting an adopted child to a new environment. If you’re in a committed relationship, remember that you’re a team and need to work together in making decisions and overcoming challenges. Lean on each other for support and be open about your feelings. When things have settled in, make time for a monthly date night.   Bumping heads with someone you live with?    Click here      10. Connect through play     Playing with dad makes a child feel connected, loved, and wanted. Choose unstructured, age-appropriate activities that allow your child to get creative and lead through play. Your child will look forward to this special time with you and love the positive attention.    Click here    for more tips on igniting your child’s learning through play     11. Get support     Welcoming a fostered or adopted child can be an amazingly positive experience, but it can also present some challenges. If your child seems to be distressed or angry, or if you’re concerned about how your new child is impacting your marriage or other children, our specialists can help.     SPECIALISTS:    Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Ph.D.,  is an expert in Child and Educational psychology. If you are concerned about the mental or emotional well-being of your fostered or adopted child, Dr. Shinn can recommend support.       


   
     
      
        Request a Consultation with Dr. Shinn
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Shinn 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 Subject  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Dr. Elsa Torres, Psy.D.,  is a specialist in counseling. If your family welcomed a new child and needs support in adjusting and bonding, Dr. Torres can guide you.      
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Torres   
       Dr. Amy Weir, Psy.D.,  is a specialist in infant and toddler neurodevelopment. If you are concerned your little one may have autism or other intellectual challenges that are preventing them from bonding with you, Dr. Weir can provide an evaluation.        


   
     
      
        Click Here to Request an Assessment Consultation
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Weir 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Dr. Daniela Davis, Psy.D.  is a specialist in Women’s Issues. If you are a mother struggling to connect with your adopted child, Dr. Davis can listen and guide you toward building a healthy connection.      
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Davis 
       Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life           
     Y.on("domready", function(){
     Y.all('input[name="lname"]').setAttribute("value", "X");
     });
          

 
   
     
      
        
     

     

       

        
          

            

          

            
               

                 
                   First Name 
                   
                 

                 
                   Last Name 
                   
                 

               
            

          
        

        

          
             
               Email Address 
               
             
          

        

          

        

       

       
            Sign Up    
       

     

    
        We respect your privacy.  
    

     Thank you! 
      

   

 
      Found this article helpful?     Rate and review us on Google and Yelp               

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.     
 
  
       References:   Eppley, S. (2017, September 9). 10 Activities To Bond   With Your Foster Children. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/amp/s/adoption.com/10-activities-to-bond-with-your-foster-children/amp  Kemp, R. (2011, February 8). The importance of father-child bonding. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.thenational.ae/lifestyle/family/the-importance-of-father-child-bonding-1.467546  Steinberg, G., & Hall, B. (1998). Pact, an Adoption Alliance [Brochure]. Author. Retrieved from https://www.pactadopt.org/app/servlet/documentapp.DisplayDocument?   Bonding With Your Adopted Child. (2019).  What to Expect . Retrieved from https://www.whattoexpect.com/family/bonding-with-your-adopted-child.aspx  Shinn. M.M. (2019). 8 Tips for Managing Conflict with the People You Live With.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/8-tips-for-managing-conflicts-with-the-people-you-live-with   Shinn. M.M. (2018). The Parents Guide to Play: 9 Tips to Ignote Your Child’s Learning.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/the-parents-guide-to-play-9-tips-to-ignite-your-childs-learning   Shinn. M.M. (2018). The P.R.I.D.E. of Fatherhood: 5 Ways That Great Dads Shape Our Mental Health.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/the-pride-of-fatherhood-5-ways-that-great-dads-shape-our-mental-health     How to Cite This Blog Article:    Shinn. M.M. (2019). 10 Ways to Bond with Your Child as a Foster or Adoptive Dad.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/test-blog/10-ways-to-bond-with-your-child-as-a-foster-or-adoptive-dad

10 Ways to Bond with Your Child as a Foster or Adoptive Dad

Happy Father’s Day to all you great dad’s out there! This year we’re dedicating our Dad-Day blog to foster and adoptive dads! Check out our top 10 tips for foster and adoptive dads to strengthen the bond with their children.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      “My Kid is a Picky Eater – What do I do?”     “Yuck! I’m not eating that - I want ice cream!” Sound familiar? Many parents know the struggle of having a picky eater. It’s frustrating to want to ensure your child’s health when they’re determined to live on a steady diet of fruit loops and oreos. The good news is, most kids grow out of picky eating without it having major effects on their health. However, the way that parents react to their kids’ picky tendencies has a major impact on whether their kid grows out of it and how their eating habits effect their long-term health.    So what should parents do if their kid is a picky eater?     1. Keep offering new foods     Young children often need be to introduced to a food several times before they’ll try it. Research suggests it takes kids a minimum of 12 exposures of any given food to put it in the category of foods they like. Picky eaters can require a lot more exposures than that. Remember, exposure doesn’t mean that they have to eat it either; simply having it served to them or seeing their parent eat it also counts. Keep exposing them to new foods alongside of their favorites, and eventually they’ll try a bite.     2. Give “food bridges” a try     Once a food is accepted, use what nutritionists call “food bridges” to introduce others with similar colors, flavors, or textures to expand the variety of your child’s diet. For example, if your child likes pumpkin pie, try mashed sweet potatoes and then cross the “bridge” to mashed carrots. If your child like’s the crispiness of potato chips, introduce similarly textured foods such as snap pea crisps or seasoned kale chips.      3. Pair like a pro     Pairing isn’t just for adults when deciding which wine will complement their dinner. Toddlers naturally prefer sweet and salty flavors and tend to dislike sour and bitter. Try pairing unfamiliar foods that kids tend to dislike with foods they naturally prefer. For example, pairing a bitter food like broccoli with the saltiness of cheddar cheese provides a great combination for toddler taste buds. Celery sticks and peanut butter are another award winning, kid-approved combo.      4. Avoid reinforcing pickiness     You may be doing a few things that actually encourage picky eating without meaning to. Avoid using the “ ABCDE ” behaviors listed below, as each of these may make your child associate mealtime with a power struggle, which can increase picky eating:        A - Artificial comments  – “Mmm this asparagus is SO delicious!” Yeahhh… your kid can see right through that. Don’t exaggerate or make fake comments to try to convince your child to try a food.        B - Bribery  – “You need to eat 4 more strawberries before you can have dessert.” Don’t bribe or force your kid to eat certain foods or clean their plate. This disrupts their ability to listen to their body’s natural cues of hunger and fullness.      C - Coaxing  – “Come on, just try one bite!” Coaxing often leads to a power struggle which motivates your kid to “win” by defying you. This can distract your kid from listening to their stomach telling them what they need. Instead, they’ll be focusing all of their efforts on winning the battle.       D - Defining preferences  – “You don’t like carrots.” Taste buds are always evolving, so avoid telling your kid what foods they do or don’t like. This suggests to them that their preferences are fixed and unchanging.      E – Emotional eating  – “Aww, my baby, you fell and bumped your knee. Here, don’t cry, have a cookie.” Avoid using food as a tool to deal with tough feelings. This can lead to your child developing habits to eat in response to sadness, pain,   fear    ,     anger  , or   boredom       rather than listening their body’s natural hunger cues.        Click here    to learn healthy ways for your kids to deal with tough emotions       5. Make it a family lifestyle     If you eat a variety of healthy foods, your kid is more likely to follow suit. Make healthy food choices a   part of your family’s lifestyle   and avoid becoming a short order cook by making separate, unhealthy meals for your kids. Your kid may act like they’ll go on a hunger strike if you don’t let them eat smores for dinner, but they’ll try a healthier option before letting themselves starve.     Click here    for our printable handout on quick tips for overcoming feeding problems in children     6. Have fun with food      Get your kid involved in food preparation. Have them pick produce at the market and help you rinse, peel, and stir in the kitchen. Even to adults, food is more appetizing when it is presented nicely. You can make healthy foods more enticing by cutting them into fun shapes with cookie cutters, serving fruits and veggies on skewers, using a grater to create different textures, or arranging foods into pictures like smiley faces. While they won’t always have you around to prepare their food in eye-appealing ways, your efforts will get them to give more foods a chance and add them to their “approved” list.      7. Ditch the distractions     Mealtime should be a time for bonding between family members, and not a battle over food choices. Keep conversations away from food and minimize distractions that take your kid’s focus away from their meal and family. Turn off the TV, let homework wait, and have mealtime be a sacred ritual of quality family time. Avoid quizzing your child during mealtimes as well – questions about their performance on the spelling test or behavior during recess can add stress and tension to mealtime.     8. Depend on the “division of responsibility”     When it comes to eating, both parents and children have responsibilities. The parent’s responsibility is to choose which foods are purchased and made available, as well as what times of day they are served. The child’s responsibility is to choose which of those foods they’ll take and how much of each food they’ll eat. Allow them to carry out their responsibility by letting them listen to their bodies and eat only as much or as little as they like. Serve food family style so that they can choose their portions. Carry out your responsibility by keeping meal and snack times routine and offering 3 or 4 healthy food groups per meal.    Does your family need help in developing healthy eating habits? Click below for a free 15-minute consultation to learn how our Specialists can help       


   
     
      
        Free 15 Minute Consultation
      
     
   


 
   15 Minute Consultation  
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      9. Redefine desserts      Using desserts as a reward or bribery tool reinforces the idea that sweets are the most exciting and desirable foods. Don’t serve sugary sweets each night; instead, redefine dessert as fruit, yogurt, or other healthier options. Kids should be allowed to have occasional sweets, but teach them about moderation and balanced nutrition. Keep high calorie sweets reserved for celebrations or special occasions such as birthday parties, Sunday night dinners with the family, or holidays.      10. Know when to get help     Though picky eating is often a phase that kids grow out of, there are situations where outside support is needed. Picky eating can develop after a child experiences trauma and can lead to serious eating disorders. Some children also develop avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (AFRID) which can lead to life-threatening health problems if a child doesn’t get proper treatment. If you are concerned your child’s picky eating is impacting their physical or mental health, or if you need support in developing healthier eating habits as a family, our specialists can help.      SPECIALISTS:    Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Ph.D.,  is an expert in Child and Educational psychology and is experienced in training clinicians in Family Mealtime Coaching (FMC). Dr. Shinn has conducted research on eating disorder interventions and family eating behaviors. If you are concerned about your child’s or family’s eating habits, Dr. Shinn can recommend support.       


   
     
      
        Request a Consultation with Dr. Shinn
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Shinn 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Dr. Daniella A. Davis, Psy.D ., is an FMC coach and is experienced in coaching parents on how to overcome challenges with their picky eaters. If you are a parent concerned with your child’s picky eating habits, Dr. Davis can help.     
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Davis 
       Dr. Elsa Torres, Psy.D.  is a specialist in counseling. If your family struggles with emotional eating or other eating disorders, Dr. Torres can support you with effective tools to overcome challenges and guide your family on a path towards a healthy lifestyle.       
 
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Torres 
       Dr. Weir, Psy.D.,  is an expert in Infant and Toddler Psychology. If you’re concerned your baby’s picky eating may be connected to a developmental issue such as autism or intellectual development, Dr. Weir can provide an evaluation.      


   
     
      
        Request a Consultation with Dr. Weir
      
     
   


 
   Consultation with Dr. Weir 
   
     
      
         

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Name  *  
               Name 
              
                 
                    
                  First Name 
                 
                 
                    
                  Last Name 
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            
               
               Phone  *  
               Phone 
              
                
                 
                    
                  (###) 
                 
                 
                    
                  ### 
                 
                 
                    
                  #### 
                 
               
            

            

        

            

            

            

            

            
               
                 Email  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

            

            

            
               
                 What is a good time and date to call you back?  *  
                
                 
               
            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

            

        

         

      

      

      
       
         
       
      

      

       Thank you! 

        
     

   

 
      Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life         
     Y.on("domready", function(){
     Y.all('input[name="lname"]').setAttribute("value", "X");
     });
          

 
   
     
      
        
     

     

       

        
          

            

          

            
               

                 
                   First Name 
                   
                 

                 
                   Last Name 
                   
                 

               
            

          
        

        

          
             
               Email Address 
               
             
          

        

          

        

       

       
            Sign Up    
       

     

    
        We respect your privacy.  
    

     Thank you! 
      

   

 
      Found this article helpful?     Rate and review us on Google and Yelp               

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   American Academy of Pediatrics. (2018, April 26). 10 Tips for Parents of Picky Eaters. Retrieved from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/nutrition/Pages/Picky-Eaters.aspx  Campbell, L. (2018, May 31). ARFID: Eating Disorder   Mistaken for Picky Eating. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health-news/parents-may-mistake-picky-eating-for-a-more-serious-eating-disorder#1  Children's nutrition: 10 tips for picky eaters. (2017, July   28). Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/childrens-health/art-20044948  DiGiulio, S. (2018, February 10). What makes kids picky   eaters - and what may help them get over it. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/better/amp/ncna846386  Shinn. M.M. (2018). 5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/5-tips-for-raising-emotionally-intelligent-children   Shinn. M.M. (2019). Get Moving! 10 Reasons to Engage Your Kid in Active Play.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/get-moving-10-reasons-to-engage-your-kids-in-active-play   Shinn. M.M. (2018). How to Stop Anxiety in its Tracks.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/how-to-stop-anxiety-in-its-tracks   Shinn, M. M., & Weir, A. E. (2018). Family Mealtime Coaching Treatment Manual. Unpublished Manuscript  Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Kid is So Defiant – Is It My Fault?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-is-so-defiant-is-it-my-fault   Shinn. M.M. (2018).Yay it’s Summer! Mom I’m Bored. 9 Tips for a Stimulating Summer.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/9-easy-tips-for-a-stimulating-summer   Shinn. M.M., Timmer, S.G., & Sandoz, T.K., (2017). Coaching to Improve Mealtime Parenting in Treating Pediatric Obesity.  Clinical Practice in Pediatric Psychology . Vol. 5. No. 3, 232-247  Campbell, L. (2018, May 31). ARFID: Eating Disorder   Mistaken for Picky Eating. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health-news/parents-may-mistake-picky-eating-for-a-more-serious-eating-disorder#1  Children's nutrition: 10 tips for picky eaters. (2017, July   28). Retrieved from https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/childrens-health/art-20044948  DiGiulio, S. (2018, February 10). What makes kids picky   eaters - and what may help them get over it. Retrieved from https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/better/amp/ncna846386  Shinn. M.M. (2018). 5 Tips for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Children.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/5-tips-for-raising-emotionally-intelligent-children   Shinn. M.M. (2019). Get Moving! 10 Reasons to Engage Your Kid in Active Play.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/get-moving-10-reasons-to-engage-your-kids-in-active-play   Shinn. M.M. (2018). How to Stop Anxiety in its Tracks.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/how-to-stop-anxiety-in-its-tracks   Shinn, M. M., & Weir, A. E. (2018). Family Mealtime Coaching Treatment Manual. Unpublished Manuscript  Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Kid is So Defiant – Is It My Fault?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-is-so-defiant-is-it-my-fault   Shinn. M.M. (2018).Yay it’s Summer! Mom I’m Bored. 9 Tips for a Stimulating Summer.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/9-easy-tips-for-a-stimulating-summer   Shinn. M.M., Timmer, S.G., & Sandoz, T.K., (2017). Coaching to Improve Mealtime Parenting in Treating Pediatric Obesity.  Clinical Practice in Pediatric Psychology . Vol. 5. No. 3, 232-247    How to Cite This Blog Article:    Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Kid is a Picky Eater – What do I do?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/test-blog/my-kid-is-a-picky-eater-what-do-i-do

“My Kid is a Picky Eater – What do I do?”

“You can’t just eat sweets all day son.” “Then I just won’t eat anything at all!”

Most parents know the struggle of having a picky eater. Check out this week’s blog for 10 tips on what to do about it.