“Is My Child Addicted to Video Games?”
How to Know and What to Do About It
Since their debut in the early 1970’s, video games have been an iconic form of entertainment. While most people can enjoy gaming as an occasional diversion, a growing number of youth seem to be pushing aside family, friends, and activities to spend more time in front of computer screens. Nicknamed “digital heroin,” video game addiction is a growing concern and has recently been classified as a mental health disorder by The World Health Organization.
So how do parents know if their child’s fantasy world is starting to take over their real life?
Warning signs of gaming addiction
- Gaming 4+ hours a day
- Playing for increasing amounts of time
- Thinking or talking about gaming during other activities
- Quitting other hobbies
- Lying to friends or family to conceal gaming
- Alienating themselves from family, friends, or romantic interests
- Becoming irritable or miserable when they can’t play video games
- Neglecting daily responsibilities
- Declining academic performance
- Showing physical symptoms including dry eyes, carpel tunnel, weight loss or gain, headaches, or back and neck problems
- Ignoring personal hygiene
- Depression, anxiety, or social phobias
So what can a parent do about it?
If you are concerned your child or teen may have a gaming problem, try these tips:
1. Start a log
Before you talk to your child about your concerns, start documenting their behaviors in a log. Write down how many hours a day you notice them gaming. Also, write down negative consequences you are noticing, such as them skipping out on soccer practice or avoiding family meals. Also, record how they react when they have to stop gaming. \
2. Communicate with love
When you talk to your child about your concerns, do so from a place of patience and love. In many cases, children use gaming as a form of relief from feelings of sadness or worry, so being stern or critical may only worsen their negative self-image. Talk to them about their good qualities and the things you love about them – share your log with them and express that you are concerned that their gaming is getting in the way of them living their best life.
3. Organize a detox
Like with any other type of addiction, complete abstinence is necessary for success. This can be a bit tricky since computers are so prevalent in our society, so your child will need to adjust to using computers without gaming. Set boundaries and rules regarding computer use, such as only allowing them to use it for school projects during certain times of day. Remove game consoles, block gaming websites, and keep the computer in a highly visible area in the house for easy monitoring.
4. Prepare to be patient
As your child is detoxing, they may be irritable, mopey, or just downright mean. When they are on your last nerve, walk away and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. Not only will this help you keep your cool, it will model healthy emotional regulation to your child, as opposed to burying emotions with gaming.
5. Make Reality More Exciting
You may think your kid is only interested in high speed pursuits or battling mythical creatures, but the truth is that real life experiences will be much more rewarding to them than any video game could ever be. Get the whole family involved in more physical activities – hikes, backyard baseball, or activities with other families. If they are old enough, encourage them to get a part-time job to boost their self-worth. Activities, hobbies, and responsibilities can both boost their mood and distract them from the lure of gaming.
6. Use a reward system
It can be hard for gamers to see why their addiction is a bad thing. A reward system can incentivize them to stick with their detox, even if they don’t fully agree with it. Try using a points system by giving them “10 points” for every day they go without gaming and have them lose 20 points each day that they cave in and play video games. Let them know that when they reach 1000 points, they get to go to an amusement park, have a sleepover party, or some other fun activity.
7. Seek support
Addictions of all types are complex and challenging to overcome, but there is hope. A qualified specialist can help your child address underlying mental health issues that may have led to their addiction. They can teach self-control techniques and tools to help your child find happiness and self-esteem away from the computer screen.
If you think your child has a problem with video game addiction, Variations can help.
Cynthia Johnson, LMFT, is a specialist in Parenting and Child Therapy at Variations Psychology. She is experienced in supporting parents, teens, and children in overcoming compulsive behaviors including video game addiction, self-esteem issues, depression, anxiety, and relationship problems.
Dr. Christopher J. Sample, Psy.D., is specialist in family issues impacting men and teenage boys. Dr. Sample understands the unique challenges that teen boys and men face throughout life, and is experienced in helping them overcome addiction, depression, anxiety, anger, and relationship challenges.
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More about Variations Psychology
Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.
Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).
Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.