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      “Hold Your PeePee!” 12 Tips to Help Your Child Manage Impulsivity     Impulsivity refers to a person’s inability to put their “mental brakes” on before they act. People with impulse control issues act on a whim without considering consequences, often resulting in them speaking or behaving inappropriately. Impulse control can be a struggle for many children and teenagers, but some have a harder time with it than others. With time and guidance, most kids learn ways to manage their impulses by the time they reach adulthood. If they don’t, however, impulsivity can have a long-term impact on their relationships, academic and career success, and emotional well-being.    So how can parents teach their kids to think before they act?       1. Think back to potty training    Children struggling with impulsivity often feel like they have no control over their actions. However, if they were capable of learning to use a toilet when they felt the urge to pee, they can learn to control other impulses as well. Remind your child or teen that when they were babies, they used to pee or poop whenever the urge hit, but with practice they learned to “hold their peepee” until they got to a bathroom. Your child’s mental process of potty training went something like this:      Becoming aware of the urge to use the bathroom    Recognizing bodily symptoms of needing to use the bathroom    Making a plan to get to a bathroom before having an accident    Getting to a toilet and releasing their urge to go      2. Apply it to today’s challenges    Just like they were capable of learning to control that physical impulse, they can also learn to control mental impulses such as yelling, hitting, or making reckless decisions. When they feel like acting out, encourage them to work through the same steps.     Becoming aware that some actions are impulsive and inappropriate      Example: “Hitting when I am angry is an impulsive behavior.”        Recognizing how their body reacts when they feel like acting impulsively      “When I feel like hitting, my fists clench, my chest tightens, and I feel like screaming.”        Making a plan to release their energy in an appropriate way       “I’m going to walk away and focus on my breathing instead of hitting my brother.”        Carrying out their plan by finding an appropriate way to react       3. Label feelings   Children and teens who don’t understand their emotions are more likely to express themselves impulsively. Teach your child to recognize feelings so they can express through calm words rather than hitting or lashing out. Discuss different emotions such as anger, sadness, confusion, joy, and fear. Let them know that having feelings is ok, but expressing them through inappropriate behaviors is not.     For more tips on empowering emotional intelligence in your child, click here.      4. Empower “self-talk”   Kids and teens who engage in calming self-talk are less likely to act impulsively. Encourage your child to talk to themselves out loud when they are feeling frustrated or anxious. Self-talk will help them learn to process and control emotions as they come up.    Example: “This is a long line but I have to patiently wait for my turn.”      5. Have them repeat directions   Impulsive kids and teens often rush into action before listening to directions. Help them battle this habit by having them repeat directions twice before they get started on a task – if your child is young, have them repeat directions to you. If you have a teen, encourage them to repeat directions to themselves before taking action. Also, consider if your child’s challenges with focus and staying on task may be a sign of a learning disability or ADHD.     Click here to learn Dr. Marta M. Shinn’s FOCUS skills to support children with attention difficulties      6. Focus on physical health   Research has shown that children and teens who struggle with impulse control tend to eat more, sleep less, and are not very physically active. Limit screen time and give your child lots of opportunities to run and play outside. Keep healthy, balanced foods on hand and don’t let them stay up all night. When your child’s physical health is supported, they’ll be less likely to lash out in emotional distress.      7. Delay gratification   All children benefit from learning to appreciate delayed gratification, meaning they must behave well  now  in order to receive a reward  later . Practicing delayed gratification can help them avoid temptations that lead to impulsive reactions. This concept also conditions them to stay persistent with tough tasks in school and work later in life. Teach delayed gratification by creating a reward system where they have to save up points or earn their reward over multiple days.     For more tips on fostering your child’s persistence, click here     8. Play “Impulse Control” Games   A fun way to teach self-control is to play games with your child that require impulsivity management to win. Games like Simon Says, Follow the Leader, and Red Light Green Light can help train a young child’s brain develop more self-control. Search online for “impulse control games for teens” to choose from a variety of activity books or board games designed to boost a teenager’s self-control. The best part is, your child will get quality time with you and they’ll have fun doing it!     9. Teach healthy anger management    Your child’s impulsive outbursts may be caused by low frustration tolerance. Learning how to manage anger can help your child deal with their emotions in healthy ways. Teach your child to pause and take slow, deep breaths when they are angry. Encourage them to go kick a ball rather than a person, take a walk around the house, or place themselves in a “calm down spot” before they react.      10. Provide rules & responsibilities   Set clear behavioral expectations and explain consequences for breaking rules before it happens. Understanding rules and consequences can help your child make informed choices about their behavior. You can also increase structure and accountability in your home by empowering your child with household responsibilities. This can be as simple as pairing socks as a kid or washing cars as a teen. As they grow, so should their responsibilities.     11. Praise patience   It can be easy to only acknowledge when your child is acting inappropriately, but make sure to give them lots of praise and attention when they sit quietly or react calmly when things don’t go their way. When your child understands what preferred behaviors looks like, they are more likely to keep doing them. Acknowledge when a child is being patient, acting calm, or waiting for the appropriate time to release their energy.      12. Don’t beat yourself up   It’s important to know that your child having impulsivity issues does not mean you are a bad parent. Many children are just naturally more prone to impulsivity than others for a variety of reasons. In some children, the part of the brain that controls impulses develops slower than others. The good news is, there is hope and a qualified specialist can teach your child ways to control their impulses, just like they learned to “hold their peepee!”    See a Mental Health Specialist   Whether you are concerned that your child or teen may need support with impulsivity, or if you are an adult who feels like you never learned how to manage your own impulses, our specialists at Variations can help.      
 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.     More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   American Academy of Pediatrics (2003). Guide to Toilet Training.   Brain Balance Achievement Centers (2018). Tips to Help Your Child Manage Impulsivity. Retrieved online: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blog.brainbalancecenters.com/2016/02/tips-to-help-your-child-manage-impulsivity%3fhs_amp=true   Gruber, R., Cassoff, J., Frenette, S., Wiebe, S., Carrier, J. (2012). Impact of sleep extension and restriction on children’s emotional lability and impulsivity.  Pediatrics . AAP News and Journals.   Lehal, M. (2018). Five Things to Teach Your Child to Avoid Impulsivity & Behavioral Issues. Psych Central. Retrieved online: https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-things-to-teach-your-child-to-avoid-impulsivity-behavioral-issues/  Morin, A. (2018). Ten Ways to Teach Children Impulse Control. Very Well Family.com. Retrieved online: https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-teach-children-impulse-control-1095035  Morin, A. (2019). Understanding Your Child’s Trouble With Impulsivity. Understood.org. Retrieved online: https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/hyperactivity-impulsivity/understanding-your-childs-trouble-with-impulsivity  Kastner, L. (2018) How to Encourage Self Control in Teens and Tweens. Retrieved online:  https://www.parentmap.com/article/how-to-encourage-self-control-in-tween-and-teens  Van den Berg, L., Pieterse, K., Malik, J.A., Willems van Dijk, K., Oosterlaan, J., Delemarre-Van de Walle, H.A., (2011). Association between impulsivity, reward responsiveness and body mass index in children.  International Journal of Obesity , vol 35, pp 1301-1307   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Hold Your PeePee! 12 Tips to Help Your Child Manage Impulsivity.    Psychologically Speaking .  [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/12-tips-to-help-your-child-manage-impulsivity

“Hold Your PeePee!” 12 Tips to Help Your Child Manage Impulsivity

All kids struggle with impulse control from time to time. But if your child seems to really have a hard time putting the “mental brakes” on before they lose their cool, this blog’s for you! Check out this week’s blog to learn 12 tried and true ways to boost your child’s impulse control.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      Take the Stress Out of Tests!  11 Ways to Manage Test Anxiety     Society places a huge emphasis on the importance of tests in school. “You better pass your reading test or you’ll fall behind in 2nd grade.” “You better ace your SATs or you’ll never get into college.” “You better pass The Bar or else you’ll never have a career and will probably end up living under a bridge - but no pressure!” It’s no wonder that millions of students deal with at least some anxiety revolving around tests; but for some students, test anxiety is debilitating, preventing them from being able to show their true knowledge and capabilities.    How does test anxiety impact a student?    Anxiety is our body’s natural response to things we view as threats. Students with test anxiety have an extreme fear of performing poorly on tests, causing them to view exams as threatening. This fear impacts them physically, mentally, and emotionally. As symptoms increase in one of those areas, they tend to get worse in the other two. One thought of, “I know I’m going to fail,” can turn into feeling panicked, nauseous, faint, and short of breath – making test-taking unbearable. If students don’t learn ways to successfully manage test anxiety early on, it can damper their performance during tests throughout their teen and adult lives.   If you are a parent or teacher, here are some ways to help students get a hold on test anxiety:    1. Put tests in perspective    If you suspect your student has anxiety, ask them what they’re afraid of. You will likely find that their fears revolve around a dread of failure or feelings of inadequacy. As an adult, you have a more realistic understanding of the level of influence that tests do and don’t have on your life. Sure, there are high stakes exams out there, but you know that in a few years their test scores won’t be impacting their long-term life success. Share your insight and remind them that a test does not have the power to define their worth, potential, or future.      2. Amp up affirmations   Positive affirmations are encouraging thoughts people say to themselves that help them believe in their ability to succeed. Have your student come up with positive affirmations to replace their negative thoughts about testing. In time, repeating these affirmations will help them reverse negative thought patterns that fuel their anxiety.    Example :   Replace , “I’m scared that I won’t remember how to multiply,”  with , “I know how to multiply and I’m going to do great.”   Replace , “I know I’m going to fail AP History,”  with , “I’ll study and try my best.”   Replace , “I’ll never pass the MCAT – my career is doomed,”  with , “I’ve studied just as hard as everyone else and I can do this. Watch out med school, here I come!”   3. Teach muscle relaxation   When we get anxious, our muscles naturally clench up. Teaching relaxation techniques can help students calm their body’s response to anxiety, in turn reducing their emotional distress. One exercise is to clench your fists for 5 seconds, then release them while picturing every muscle in your body letting go of any tension.      4. Make breathing an art form   Another effective tool in reducing anxiety is breathing exercises. Anxiety tends to shorten our breath, fueling the sense of panic that tests can bring on. Have students practice their breathing, focusing on deep inhales and slow exhales.     5. Visualize success   There are two types of visualization that you can teach your students to help them manage test anxiety. First, they can close their eyes and envision a safe, calming place every time they start feeling tense. Second, they can think back on a time they did well on a test and then picture themselves doing great on the upcoming test.      6. Seat strategically   Educators, seat your highly anxious students with low anxiety students. When they see their classmates modeling healthy study habits and a relaxed attitude around test prep, it can gradually help them view tests as less threatening. This also goes for parents; if you’re having kids over for study group, don’t only invite the over-achievers. Make sure to invite peers who are less prone to stress or who have overcome test anxiety themselves to influence the tone of the group.      7. Create a culture of calm   “Be positive” – it’s more than just a blood type, it’s a way of life. Anxiety is infectious, so be careful not to show lots of anxiety around your students’ test performance. If you’re a parent of a child who is excelling and exceeding the performance of others, express pride but try not to suggest any expectation for them to outperform anyone else. Any anxieties or pressures that you convey will likely rub off on them, so do your best to create a positive, supportive, and optimistic environment around testing. Smile and show your sense of humor. Your demeanor during testing will signal to your students that this is not a threatening situation.       For more advice on managing your own anxiety, view our blog on how to STOP Anxiety in its Tracks       8. Prioritize prep work   Students feel much better about test taking if they feel prepared and knowledgeable on the material. Whether you are a teacher or parent, help your students feel prepared by:      Teaching test taking strategies such as skipping difficult questions and coming back to them at the end    Explaining different test formats    Helping them create a study plan to make them feel prepared    Allowing plenty of review time to give students opportunities to ask questions and refresh their memory     9. Assign fun   Although test preparation plays a critical role in alleviating test anxiety, students with test anxiety often burn themselves out with studying before testing even begins.  Emphasize to your students that while studying and homework are important for their success, time for fun, relaxation, and recreation are also vital for them to perform at their best.     10. Praise properly    Students with anxiety often grasp the material but draw a blank when the test is in front of them. This is often a result of their fear of incompetency toward testing. You can reduce the likelihood of them freezing up by boosting their confidence leading up to the test. Make sure to praise them for more than just mastery of a subject – encourage students’ progress and efforts before they’ve got a lesson down.     Examples :   “See! You’re doing great with the first two steps of long division. You’ll have the rest down in no time.”  “You’re really making progress on your review worksheets. You’re on the right track to be well-prepared for the mid-term.”    For more tips on improving your child’s attitude toward learning, check out our blog on Fostering a Growth Mindset        11. Visit a specialists   Every parent wants school to be an enriching experience for their child. If anxiety is holding your child back from getting the most out of their education, they may qualify for accommodations including additional breaks or extended testing times. Our specialists at Variations Psychology can determine the correct diagnosis for your child, assist you in securing accommodations at for school tests and high stakes exams, and give your child strategies to cope with anxiety symptoms.      
 
	 CLick here to find a specialists that's right for you 
       Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life         
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.     More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   TEST ANXIETY: RECOMMENDATIONS FOR TEACHERS https://www.education.udel.edu/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/TestAnxiety.pdf  Blank, H. Cascardi, M. (2016). Overcoming Test Anxiety: A High School Student’s Perspective And Solutions. Retrieved online: https://www.anxiety.org/high-school-students-can-overcome-test-anxiety  How Teachers Can Help Students Cope with Test Anxiety (2017)  blog.edmentum.com/how-teachers-can-help-students-cope-test-anxiety    How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Take the Stress Out of Tests! 11 Ways to Manage Test Anxiety.    Psychologically Speaking . [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/take-the-stress-out-of-tests-11-ways-to-manage-test-anxiety

Take the Stress Out of Tests!
11 Ways to Manage Test Anxiety

Though no obituary has ever read, “Cause of Death: Flunking the SAT,” the stress of high-stakes testing can feel make a student feel like they are in a life or death situation. Without effective coping skills, test anxiety can negatively  impact students’ physical, emotional, and mental health. For tips on helping students manage test anxiety, check out this week’s blog.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      Should I Let My Teen Get a Job? 10 Things Parents Should Know    As much as teens rely on mom and dad for a warm bed, free laundry, and a stocked refrigerator, they desperately want to feel like adults. Often times, this desire results in teens wanting to take on their first job. While parents want their teens to have a healthy transition into adulthood, it can be scary to let them take on the responsibility and the demands of a job while they’re still in school. Allowing your teen to get a job is a big decision, especially if they are involved in challenging classes or demanding extra-curriculars.   So how can parents know if their teen is ready to start filling out job applications? Here are 10 things to consider:    1. There are tons of benefits   We’re not talking about health insurance or retirement plans; those will come later down the line when they reach their career goals. But there are countless benefits that an entry level job can bring to a teenager’s life.  To name a few, jobs can help them:    Discover how to search and apply for jobs    Learn about money management    Gain confidence    Feel independent    Become more responsible    Develop work ethic and job skills    Stay occupied when school is out    Network and make friends    Develop time management    Pay for their own stuff (can I get a YASSSS!)     2. It doesn't have to kill your grades    “My son?! A job?! How will he pass AP bio?!” Despite many parents’ concern that by earning an income, kids will lose all motivation to make good grades, research has indicated that teens working 10-13 hours per week tend to have higher grades than their unemployed counterparts. It should be noted however, that working more than 13 hours per week can make it difficult to manage the high school work-load   3. It gives a "feel for the field"   Sadly, many students spend years pursuing high level degrees only to find themselves unsatisfied with their field after they graduate. An entry level job related to a field they are interested in can give them a sense of the pros and cons and help them determine if it’s really what they want to pursue long-term. For this reason, it’s good to encourage them to look for jobs that develop skills related to their interests. For example, if your daughter wants to be a doctor, becoming a lifeguard would teach her CPR and other lifesaving techniques.    For more tips on supporting your teen’s success, check out our blog on fostering passion and persistence in your children     4. Jobs help careers   While college degrees are important, let’s face it, employers want work experience. Whether or not your teen’s job has anything to do with their long-term pursuits, the skills and work ethic instilled by minimum wage employment can definitely make them stand out above candidates who only have academic track records. Plus, working as a teen demonstrates that they are successfully able to balance work and education, a trait that shows they are both persistent and adaptable.   5. Baby steps are the way to go   …just don’t call them that – your teen wants to be treated like an adult, remember?! They don’t have to go straight from total dependence on you to working 30 hours a week and moving out. Make a deal with your teen that they can only work as long as nothing else suffers – that means school, social relationships, extracurriculars, and family time. Start out with allowing them to only work weekends or seasonally. As they prove themselves capable and responsible, consider allowing more hours after school.   6. Motives matter   Taking on a job is a great way to teach goal-setting, persistence, and financial education to your child. If they express interest in getting a job, ask them why they want one. To buy a car? To prepare for a career? To gain responsibility? Have them set goals and hold them accountable as they work. This is also a great time to teach them how to budget and create a savings plan to earn things they want to work for.   7. Volunteering isn't the same thing   Don’t get us wrong, volunteering is a wonderful thing for your teen to take part in. It builds character, encourages compassion, and fosters gratitude. But there are certain takeaways from paid employment that volunteerism just can’t provide – jobs will teach your teen a heightened level of accountability and will help them understand the relationship between time, effort, and compensation – all important concepts as they enter adulthood.   8. There are cons to consider    While there are many benefits in allowing teens to work, it’s important to understand potential setbacks. First, teens are still developing, and their lack of real world experience can make them vulnerable for being exploited by employers. Working excessive hours can also harm their social life, extracurricular activities, and school attendance. Employment also exposes teens to older adults, potentially increasing the risk of them being exposed to drugs or alcohol. These reasons are why it’s critical for parents to stay involved, making sure their child’s working hours are moderate and that employment is not impacting other areas of their life.     9. Personal factors play a role   At the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to whether teens should get a job. Parents have to base the decision on their child’s mental health, emotional maturity, and current demands. If your teen is taking a ton of high level classes and really stressing out about them, this year might not be the right time to add a job to their plate. If they struggle with time management or showing up to school on time, have them work on improving those areas before you consider letting them work.   10. Variations can help you decide    Every parent’s goal is to help their teens transition from carefree children to productive, responsible adults - but knowing how to do that can be tricky. The decision to let your teen work can be difficult, but our specialists at Variations Psychology can help.       
 
	 CLick here to find a specialists that's right for you 
       Subscribe to our blog for a weekly article on topics that affect your life         
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   Bachelorsdegreeonline.com (2018) 12 Compelling Reasons Your Teen Should Work. Retrieved from https://www.bachelorsdegreeonline.com/blog/2012/12-compelling-reasons-your-teen-should-work/  Blake, C. (2015) Professional Students: Benefits and Risks of Working While In School. Retrieved from https://education.cu-portland.edu/blog/classroom-resources/high-school-student-jobs/  Bureau of labor statistics (2018). Retrieved from https://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/mobile/youth.htm  Carpenter, S. (2001). Sleep Deprivation May be Undermining Teen Health. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/monitor/oct01/sleepteen.  Familyeducation.com (2018) Is Your Teen Ready for a Job? Retrieved from https://www.familyeducation.com/life/jobs-chores/your-teen-ready-job  Morgan, T. (2015) The Pros & Cons of Teens Getting a Job. Retrieved from https://www.teenlife.com/blogs/pros-cons-teens-getting-jobs   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Should I Let My Teen Get a Job? 10 Things Parents Should Know.    Psychologically Speaking .  [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/should-i-let-my-teen-get-a-job-10-things-parents-should-know

Should I Let My Teen Get a Job?
10 Things Parents Should Know

“If you want to be treated like an adult you better start acting like one!” Us parents say that, but do we really want our teens to run out and get a job? If you’re wondering if your teen is ready for the workforce, check out this week’s blog and find out!

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      The Women’s Guide to Divorce: How to Work Toward Acceptance and Happiness    Divorce is something no woman thinks will ever happen to her. I mean come on - all of our childhood movies ended with a royal couple riding off to the magical land of “happily ever after.” We never had The Princess and the Prenup or Ariel’s Alimony Adventure – we were shown that you find your soulmate, exchange some rings, and it’s all sunshine from there. So what happens when a woman’s lifelong view of marriage comes crashing down into the harsh reality of divorce?  The answer is that the emotional impact can feel devastating, and often makes a woman question her identity and self-worth. If you’re a woman struggling through divorce - there is hope. Try these tips to work toward a happy, accepting future:   1. Write a goodbye letter   The grief experienced during divorce can rival that of having a loved one pass away. Not only are you mourning the loss of your relationship, but you’re mourning the vision you had for your life story. Write a letter saying goodbye to each of the dreams and experiences that you expected out of your marriage. This will help you define exactly what you are grieving so that you can work toward acceptance.   2. Write a hello letter   Divorce is a beginning as well as an end. After you write your goodbye letter, write another letter saying hello to all of the things that you would never experience if you were still with your ex. Hello ballroom dancing lessons. Hello wine tasting trips with the girls. Hello rights to the remote control. Hello flirting with that ridiculously attractive cashier. Though nothing will eliminate the pain and process of grieving your losses, focusing on new hobbies and fun activities can add a silver lining in this difficult time.   3. Redefine your identity    Women often view themselves in terms of their caregiving roles to others. If most of your identity is wrapped up in being someone’s spouse, divorce can really throw a wrench in your self-worth. When you are feeling depressed or that you’ve failed, spend time thinking about your talents, character traits, and values that make you who you are. Remind yourself that divorce does not define who you are as an individual.   4. Find a supportive circle   Friendships can be a little tricky after divorce since many married couples hang out with other couples. When one duo splits up, it’s common for mutual friends to keep their distance, adding to the pain and isolation divorce can bring. The good news is, divorce can be a great catalyst to make new friends who understand what you’re going through. There are lots of online and in-person support groups for divorced women to discuss experiences and share coping techniques. Also, this can be a great opportunity to reconnect with family members or friends that you didn’t have as much time for during your marriage.   5. Take a break from social media    Resist the urge to cyber-stalk your ex. There’s no need to see the petty, “I’m doing great,” posts – they’ll just irritate you. It’s common for women to worry about what their ex and other people are thinking and saying about their divorce; to help avoid this, consider taking a break from social media for at least a few weeks to focus your mind on yourself and not the rest of the world.    For more tips to avoid comparing yourself to social media, click here      6. If you have kids, model emotional intelligence    While emotional intelligence is important for everyone, it is especially important if you have children and are helping them work through your divorce. Emotional intelligence is being able to identify and process your emotions in a healthy way. If you have kids, they might have a hard time expressing their feelings, but you have the power to show them how to acknowledge and work through the difficult emotions divorce brings.  Example: “This is a difficult time for our family. I have been feeling confused and lonely sometimes, but I know that these feelings are temporary. We are a strong family and we will get through this together.”    For more tips on fostering emotional intelligence in your children, click here      7. Work toward acceptance    While it’s healthy to be aware of all of the emotions that you experience through divorce, remember that your end-goal is to accept your divorce and move on with your life. Try not to wallow in feelings of bitterness and resentment – when they arise, acknowledge them, but remember that you will be happier once you can learn to move past them.   8. Keep your heels on the high ground    Taking the moral high ground in divorce can be tough, especially if your ex is petty-posting pics with their new love interest or writing derogatory tweets about you. No matter how awful your ex is being, remind yourself that no good will come from you retaliating. If you’re a mom, don’t badmouth your ex to your kids or try to make them spies. Don’t attempt to get your ex fired or ruin their friendships. As hard as it may be, keeping civil is best for your long-term mental health.   9. See a specialist    Divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences a woman may face, challenging her identity, self-esteem, and emotional health. Many times, friends and family just don’t seem to get it and women can feel alone in their despair. Fortunately, there are many resources for women going through divorce and there’s no reason to go through it alone.     
 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/features/life-after-divorce-3-survival-strategies#3  https://helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm  https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/03/divorce-stress-_n_4175767.html  https://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a6834/divorce-advice-women/  https://www.womanpulse.com/coping-dealing-divorce-guide/  http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/separation-and-divorce  https://www.womansdivorce.com/positive-side-of-divorce.html   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). The Women’s Guide to Divorce: How to Work Toward Acceptance and Happiness.    Psychologically Speaking .  [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/the-womens-guide-to-divorce-how-to-work-toward-acceptance-and-happiness

The Women’s Guide to Divorce:
How to Work Toward Acceptance and Happiness

Divorce is something no woman thinks will ever happen to her. I mean come on - all of our childhood movies ended with a royal couple riding off to the magical land of “happily ever after.” We never had The Princess and the Prenup or Ariel’s Alimony Adventure – we were shown that you find your soulmate, exchange some rings, and it’s all sunshine from there. So what happens when a woman’s lifelong view of marriage comes crashing down into the harsh reality of divorce?

The Parent’s Survival Guide: Explaining Puberty to Your Daughter

Training bras, tampons, and mood swings, oh my! Parents of girls might be a bit nervous about their little girls entering puberty, but with the right type of communication and support, these transitional years can be a great time for parents and daughters to connect. Check out this week’s blog with 11 tips for talking to your daughter about puberty.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      “Is My Child Addicted to Video Games?” How to Know and What to Do About It   Since their debut in the early 1970’s, video games have been an iconic form of entertainment. While most people can enjoy gaming as an occasional diversion, a growing number of youth seem to be pushing aside family, friends, and activities to spend more time in front of computer screens. Nicknamed “digital heroin,” video game addiction is a growing concern and has recently been classified as a mental health disorder by The World Health Organization.   So how do parents know if their child’s fantasy world is starting to take over their real life?     Warning signs of gaming addiction     Gaming 4+ hours a day    Playing for increasing amounts of time    Thinking or talking about gaming during other activities    Quitting other hobbies    Lying to friends or family to conceal gaming    Alienating themselves from family, friends, or romantic interests    Becoming irritable or miserable when they can’t play video games    Neglecting daily responsibilities    Declining academic performance    Showing physical symptoms including dry eyes, carpel tunnel, weight loss or gain, headaches, or back and neck problems    Ignoring personal hygiene    Depression, anxiety, or social phobias     So what can a parent do about it?    If you are concerned your child or teen may have a gaming problem, try these tips:     1. Start a log    Before you talk to your child about your concerns, start documenting their behaviors in a log. Write down how many hours a day you notice them gaming. Also, write down negative consequences you are noticing, such as them skipping out on soccer practice or avoiding family meals. Also, record how they react when they have to stop gaming.    2. Communicate with love   When you talk to your child about your concerns, do so from a place of patience and love. In many cases, children use gaming as a form of relief from feelings of sadness or  worry, so being stern or critical may only worsen their negative self-image. Talk to them about their good qualities and the things you love about them – share your log with them and express that you are concerned that their gaming is getting in the way of them living their best life.   3. Organize a detox   Like with any other type of addiction, complete abstinence is necessary for success. This can be a bit tricky since computers are so prevalent in our society, so your child will  need to adjust to using computers without gaming. Set boundaries and rules regarding computer use, such as only allowing them to use it for school projects during certain times of day. Remove game consoles, block gaming websites, and keep the computer in a highly visible area in the house for easy monitoring.   4. Prepare to be patient   As your child is detoxing, they may be irritable, mopey, or just downright mean. When they are on your last nerve, walk away and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. Not only will this help you keep your cool, it will model healthy emotional regulation to your child, as opposed to burying emotions with gaming.   5. Make Reality More Exciting   You may think your kid is only interested in high speed pursuits or battling mythical creatures, but the truth is that real life experiences will be much more rewarding to them than any video game could ever be. Get the whole family involved in more physical activities – hikes, backyard baseball, or activities with other families. If they are old enough, encourage them to get a part-time job to boost their self-worth. Activities, hobbies, and responsibilities can both boost their mood and distract them from the lure of gaming.   6. Use a reward system   It can be hard for gamers to see why their addiction is a bad thing. A reward system can incentivize them to stick with their detox, even if they don’t fully agree with it. Try using a points system by giving them “10 points” for every day they go without gaming and have them lose 20 points each day that they cave in and play video games. Let them know that when they reach 1000 points, they get to go to an amusement park, have a sleepover party, or some other fun activity.   7. Seek support   Addictions of all types are complex and challenging to overcome, but there is hope. A qualified specialist can help your child address underlying mental health issues that may have led to their addiction. They can teach self-control techniques and tools to help your child find happiness and self-esteem away from the computer screen.   If you think your child has a problem with video game addiction, Variations can help.       
 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a   call   and we will guide you.  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References   Online Article: Video Game Addiction No fun - Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD    	Keith Bakker, certified interventionist; and director, Smith &   Jones Addiction Consultants. Kimberly Young, PsyD, clinical director, Center   for On-Line Addiction; professor of psychology, St. Bonaventure University;   and author,   Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet   Addiction -- and a Winning Strategy for Recovery. WebMD Feature:   Internet to Sex: Defining Addiction. Howard, project manager, Ft. Lauderdale, Fla.,   Center for On-Line Addiction: "Are You an Obsessive Online Gamer?" and   "Frequently Asked Questions About Internet Addiction."   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Is My Child Addicted to Video Games? How to Know and What to Do About It     Psychologically Speaking . [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/is-my-child-addicted-to-video-games-how-to-know-and-what-to-do-about-it

“Is My Child Addicted to Video Games?”
How to Know and What to Do About It

Since their debut in the early 1970’s, video games have been an iconic form of entertainment. While most people can enjoy gaming as an occasional diversion, a growing number of youth seem to be pushing aside family, friends, and activities to spend more time in front of computer screens. Nicknamed “digital heroin,” video game addiction is a growing concern and has recently been classified as a mental health disorder by The World Health Organization.

So how do parents know if their child’s fantasy world is starting to take over their real life?

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      Co-parenting over Summer: 10 Tips for a Drama Free Vacay   Summer is a challenging time for all parents, but especially for those who are no longer together. During the school year, the kids are on a pretty set schedule and co-parents generally know what their responsibilities are from month to month. Then summer rolls around and throws a wrench into visitation, childcare, and transportation arrangements. Add the drama of your ex-relationship to the mix, and your family’s summer fun is at serious risk.   So what can co-parents do to plan a summer that works for everyone?     1. Create a co-parenting plan   Depending on your situation, communication between you and your co-parent might not be optimal. If you can stand being in the same room together (or tolerate phone calls), let your ex know you want to discuss summer plans that are in the best interest of your child. Plan ahead and tell them about trips, camps, or other activities you have in mind. Determine who will make arrangements for childcare and activities and discuss how payments will be split up. Putting summer plans in writing will help you both stay on the same page and avoid misunderstandings.   2. Share your priorities   Ask your ex what’s most important to them this summer. Is it bringing your child to cousin Frank’s wedding on a weekend that isn’t normally theirs? Is it taking your child to see a concert of their favorite band? Even if you secretly couldn’t care less about what your ex wants, being flexible and acknowledging what’s important to them will make it a lot more likely that they will do the same for you.   3. Meet halfway   Co-parents often bump heads about what summer activities their child should be enrolled in. One parent might think they are old enough to be home alone and that camps are a waste of money. The other might dread the thought of their little pookie-pie unsupervised without constant stimulation and structured snack-time. Whichever side you’re on, be open to compromise. Don’t feel like forking out half the cost for that exclusive STEM camp? Compile research to share with your ex on some smaller camps that might provide a more reasonable option.   4. Avoid competition   If you find yourself trying to one-up your ex with cooler plans for the ultimate vacay, remind yourself that competing with your co-parent will only make your child feel guilty. Splitting the summer between two households can be tough for a child or teen, so the most important thing is that they get quality one-on-one time with each parent. It doesn’t matter if it’s be on a beach in Maui or at a backyard barbecue; bonding with each parent is most important.   5. Get your child’s input   As you work out summer arrangements with your co-parent, make sure you don’t overlook what your child actually wants. Parents feel a lot of pressure to make summer amazing for their kids, but maybe all your child really wants to do is work on their guitar skills and hang out with friends. Focusing plans around your child’s priorities will make them feel important and will also reduce the power struggle between co-parents.   6. Don’t smother from afar   If your child is going away with your ex for an extended time, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to want to check in with them periodically – just don’t overdo it. Discuss set times with your ex that you will call and check in with your child, but limit it to 2 or 3 times a week. That way, your child is less likely to resent your contact and you won’t appear to be encroaching on the other parent’s quality time.   7. Make the most of your “me-time”   While you will miss your child and may even worry about them when they are with the other parent, remember that there is a silver lining in having a split summer: you get lots more free time! Make the most of your me-time by planning several kid-free activities to occupy your time and look forward to.   8. Support the other relationship    Co-parents come with a wide variety of background stories. Some just grew apart but still care and respect for each other. Others may have been lied to or cheated on and can’t stand the thought of that no-good two timer. Whatever your story is, remind yourself that it’s in your child’s best interest to have a positive relationship with both parents. Show support for them making memories with their other parent and ask them all about their time with them.   9. Don’t hex your ex   No matter how reasonable or considerate you are, sometimes the other parent just won’t want to compromise. As frustrating as this may be, don’t badmouth your ex to your child, even if they talk badly about you. Comments like, “You couldn’t go to Disneyworld because your dad refused to pay his half,” will alienate the other parent and put the weight of your drama on your child’s shoulders. When you’re feeling angry or upset, call a friend or other trusted adult to vent to.   10. Visit a specialist   Every family situation is different and sometimes parents need a little extra help in managing the challenges that co-parenting can bring. If co-parenting or visitation challenges are becoming overwhelming, Variations can help.     
 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   https://www.thelincolnlawfirm.com/blog/2018/04/tips-for-successfully-co-parenting-this-summer.shtml  Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other  Powerful Tools for Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce   Lauren J. Behrman PhD, Jeffrey Zimmerman PhD, ABPP  http://coparently.com/co-parenting-through-summer   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Co-parenting over Summer: 10 Tips for a Drama Free Vacay.     Psychologically Speaking . [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/co-parenting-over-summer-10-tips-for-a-drama-free-vacay

Co-parenting over Summer: 10 Tips for a Drama Free Vacay

Summer is a challenging time for all parents, but especially for those who are no longer together. During the school year, the kids are on a pretty set schedule and co-parents generally know what their responsibilities are from month to month. Then summer rolls around and throws a wrench into visitation, childcare, and transportation arrangements. Add the drama of your ex-relationship to the mix, and your family’s summer fun is at serious risk.

So what can co-parents do to plan a summer that works for everyone?

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      6 Tips to Prepare for your Teen’s Independence   Independence Day – the anniversary of America’s founding fathers declaring liberation from England’s governance. When it comes to governing one’s household, nearly every parent anticipates the day that their child will give their own, “declaration of independence.” Parents expect that as their teens emerge into their 20’s, they’ll soon be moving out and establishing themselves as self-sufficient adults. To many parents’ dismay, however, more and more young adults are having trouble meeting the milestones that lead to independence.  And while the prospect of an empty nest can be a little scary, the idea of children living with their parents forever can be even more concerning.   Is “Failure to Launch Syndrome” a thing?   “Failure to Launch” is not an official diagnosis, but rather a slang term derived from a movie referring to adult children who are either unmotivated or unable to become self-sufficient. Most psychologists aren’t fond of the term, “Failure to Launch,” because it labels these adults as failures, and a person’s ability to move out of their parent’s home should not solely determine their overall success. Also, failure sounds like a final outcome, and is a pretty harsh way to label what is often a temporary struggle. Negative labels aside, there’s no denying that there is a growing phenomenon of young adults who find the prospect of independence terrifying, paralyzing, or just plain unappealing.     So is it a psych issue?    There are several factors contributing to why millions of young adults, many of whom are employed or have college degrees, are finding it harder to leave the nest. The rising cost of living and limited economic opportunities are certainly a part of it, but in many cases, these adult children are struggling with beliefs that they are inadequate and incapable of making it on their own. Other factors contributing to their struggle may include mental illness, learning disabilities, or attention problems. Therefore, psychological issues often play an important role in a young adult’s struggle to achieve independence.   Why is this generation having such a problem?   There have been a few cultural shifts over the past several decades that experts believe have contributed to this “dependent adult” phenomenon:   The “No marriage til after grad school” shift   In recent years, society has encouraged young adults to prioritize higher education and graduate degrees over starting careers and families. While there are obvious benefits to having a well-educated society, many young adults have focused so much on academic endeavors that they haven’t developed the life skills that are necessary for self-sufficiency. Attending college into one’s mid-20’s to early 30’s has also caused more adults to delay independent milestones such as getting their first job, marrying, or moving into their own home.   The “Winning is the only option” shift    Since the 1980’s, there has been increased pressure on parents to protect their children from failure. This has promoted parenting styles that strive for perfectionism. Ironically, this drive to protect children from failure may be exactly what holds them back from success in adulthood. By conditioning children to believe that perfection is the only acceptable outcome, they are led to believe that they can’t possibly handle the pressures of independence without the protective net of their parents.   While these societal changes have made it more challenging for young adults to get out on their own, there are steps parents can take to support their child’s healthy transition into adulthood:     1. Have them set their own goals   Figuring out college and career plans in high school is a daunting task for many teens. Their brains aren’t fully developed yet, they have little to no work experience, yet they must make life-altering choices that strongly impact their future. While it’s good for you to talk openly about their plans and discuss potential pros and cons, be careful not to goal-set for them. Allow them to set their own goals and create their own action plan to achieve them. This will emphasize the belief that they are capable of managing their own life, even when things get confusing or overwhelming.   2. Take off the training wheels    Remember when you taught your kid how to ride a bike? For a period of time they rode with training wheels. Then you warily removed them but still held their handlebars as they rode around the block for a while. Finally, the day came that you released your grip and let them ride on their own. Make sure that when your teen approaches other life milestones, you aren’t leaving their “training wheels” on for too long. Teach them what they need to know, be available to answer questions, but remove your protective buffer to show them that you believe in their abilities.   Example: Teaching your teen about financial management when they get their first job     Show them how to create a budget    Teach them how to calendar due dates, set up a checking account, and pay their cell-phone bill    Tell them you’ll help walk them through their budget and bill payments for their first 2 paychecks    On the 3rd paycheck and beyond, be available to answer questions if they come to you, but don’t do it for them     3. Put and end to enabling   If your teen feels like they have it made living with you, they may not be motivated to face the challenges that come with independent living. If they’re procrastinating on searching for a summer job, stop giving them spending money. If they seem to be avoiding the steps toward getting their driver’s license, stop chauffeuring them around at their request. If independent driving isn’t an option for them yet, have them start riding their bike places to accustom them to getting around on their own. Sometimes removing the “perks” of living with mom and dad can be an effective nudge in getting your teen to face their fears and take the plunge into self-sufficiency.   4. Stop fearing failure   Teen years can be tough for both parents and their children; parents are used to the days of brushing their kids’ teeth, packing their lunch, and making sure they have clean underwear. Whether it be school work, household chores, or social situations, avoid the urge to rescue them every time they stumble. Independence requires understanding the consequences of actions, as well as maintaining resiliency through missteps. Your teen can’t develop these critical traits without being given the space to work through age-appropriate challenges, even when it means they must be late to a job interview or wear dirty socks.   5. Keep your love unconditional   If your teen isn’t showing the motivation or work ethic you think will be necessary for them to achieve independence, you may get understandably frustrated. Try not to express your frustration by lashing out or giving ultimatums. Teens and young adults who struggle with life transitions are often dealing with low self-esteem already; feeling that their parents’ love is conditional on their performance will only worsen the anxiety that holds them back. Let them know that you love them unconditionally and empower them by fostering their passions and persistency.  Click below  to listen to a podcast by   Dr. Marta M. Shinn   on fostering passion and persistence in your child.         

 
 
      6. Visit a specialist    Emerging into adulthood can be a scary and confusing time, and struggling to achieve independence can impact both parents and their adult children. A specialist in family therapy can help families unravel the different factors leading to their child’s difficulties and give practical strategies to improve the parent-child relationship and empower adult children toward independence.     
 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams). See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a   call   and we will guide you.  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References   Boll, J. (2017)  When Your Young Adult with “Failure to Launch” Won’t Get Help: Survival Tips for Parents Who Aren’t Done Parenting , retrieved online from Resources to Recover.org   Carnevale, A.P., Hanson, A.R., Gulish, A. (2013)  Failure to Launch Structural Shift and the New Generation.    Jaffi, A. (2016).  The Failures of “Failure to Launch” Syndrome  Retrieved online:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/all-about-addiction/201602/the-failures-failure-launch-syndrome  Kins, E., Beyers, W. (2010)  Failure to Launch, Failure to Achieve Criteria for Adulthood?  Journal of Adolescent Research, Volume: 25 issue: 5, page(s): 743-777   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). 6 Tips to Prepare for your Teen’s Independence.   Psychologically Speaking .   [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/6-tips-to-prepare-for-your-teens-independence

6 Tips to Prepare for your Teen’s Independence

Independence Day – the anniversary of America’s founding fathers declaring liberation from England’s governance. When it comes to governing one’s household, nearly every parent anticipates the day that their child will give their own, “declaration of independence.” Parents expect that as their teens emerge into their 20’s, they’ll soon be moving out and establishing themselves as self-sufficient adults. To many parents’ dismay, however, more and more young adults are having trouble meeting the milestones that lead to independence.

Is “Failure to Launch Syndrome” a thing?