Motivation

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      “My Kid Has a Chronic Illness – How Do I Prepare Them for School?”   Back-to-school can cause a variety of concerns for parents. Will my kid like their teacher? Will they have to deal with bullies? Will they reach their potential? But back-to-school can be particularly worrisome for parents of children with chronic illnesses. Whether your child has diabetes, asthma, seizures, heart problems, allergies, or any other condition, it can be scary to entrust your child’s health to school staff for 6+ hours a day.    So what can parents do to ensure their kid’s health is cared for at school?     1. Learn risk factors   Before considering your child’s needs, it’s important to understand the potential risk factors that chronic illness can present. Chronic illness can contribute to emotional, behavioral, and academic problems including:      Falling behind   from excessive absences      Increased   anxiety   from trying to “catch up”    Fatigue and irritability     Depression    Social isolation    Low-self esteem    Understanding these risks will help you determine the best course of action to guard against them.   2. List their needs   Start listing an inventory of needs that you believe would help your child overcome obstacles and succeed at school. Include your kid in the conversation and ask for their input. Some examples might include:    Being able to leave class without permission when symptoms arise      Accepting late work     Sitting near the door    Receiving support with making friends     Allowing rest breaks as needed    Having summer course options to reduce their school-year class load    Teacher trainings on emergency responses, such as using an EpiPen      Being allowed to complete some schoolwork at home     Regular check-ins with the school counselor     3. Request education support   Set a meeting with the school to discuss your child’s needs and to see if they qualify for   accommodations      through an Individual Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan. If classroom accommodations are enough for your child to succeed with the standard curriculum, then a 504 Plan may be the right tool for them. If their condition greatly impairs their learning abilities, they may need an IEP that provides a specially tailored curriculum. A Specialist in Educational Psychology can help you determine which educational resources will work best for your child.  Click below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation with  Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Specialist in Educational Psychology and Special Education Consulting       4. Communicate consistently   Frequent communication with the school will increase the staff’s ability to stay informed of your child’s progress and respond to their challenges. Establish regular check-in meetings to keep the faculty and your family on the same page. Build relationships with teachers, administrators, and the school nurse, so everyone is aware of your child’s unique needs.   5. Support self-management   Prior to your child starting school, you may have done the heavy lifting in tending to their medical needs. Running for the steroid cream each time a hive pops up, grabbing their inhaler when they start to get winded, or calling friends to cancel plans when they look a little pale. Encourage your kid to start taking   responsibility     for their own care before they start school. Teach them how to recognize their symptoms before they get out of hand, administer self-care, and express their needs to teachers.   6. Calculate come-backs   Depending on your child’s condition, they may have medical supplies, such as ostomy bags or glucose meters, that other kids might be curious about. Hopefully your kid won’t be faced with   bullying  ,     but it can be helpful to have them rehearse a few comebacks in case of peers being rude or annoying.    Examples:   “Ew, look at her pricking her finger – what are you, a vampire?”  “Yes actually, but don’t worry – you’re not my type. I’m only into B+.”   “It’s not fair - why do you get to leave class all the time?”  “Because I’m Batman. The world isn’t going to save itself.”    7. Inspire motivation   Chronic pain and symptoms can make it challenging for your kid to focus on schoolwork. Frequently remind your child to think about their goals to help them stay motivated. Ask them about their passions, have them create vision boards, and tell them stories of celebrities who achieved success despite chronic illness, such as Sarah Hyland who has kidney dysplasia, Nick Jonas who has diabetes, or Selena Gomez who has lupus.    Check out our blog on    fostering passion & persistence    in your kid       8. Help them connect   Help your child think through obstacles that hold them back from extracurriculars and time with friends. If their symptoms prevent them from playing football, could they   work   in the ticket booth or concession stand? If they’re too tired to go to afternoon band practice, are there clubs that meet during lunch? If they have to miss school often, can they Facetime their besties after school hours? Helping them maintain connections with peers will reduce their risks for depression and low self-esteem.   9. Consult a Specialist   Taking a chronic illness to school can be tough on both students and their families. Fortunately, your family doesn’t have to face this alone. Our specialists are experienced in helping students overcome obstacles, achieve their potential, and ensure a supportive school environment.        
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References:   Ball, M.F., Bayliss, D.M., Glauert, R., Harrison, A., Ohan, J.L. (2016). Chronic Illness and Developmental Vulnerability at School Entry.  Pediatrics , 137, 5. Retrieved from https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/pediatrics/137/5/e20152475.full.pdf  Chronic Health Conditions (Students with): The Role of the School Nurse (n.d.).  National Association of School Nurses.  Retrieved from https://www.nasn.org/nasn/advocacy/professional-practice-documents/position-statements/ps-chronic-health  My Child Has a Chronic Illness. What Do I Need to Tell the School? (2014).  American Academy of Pediatrics.  Retrieved from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/chronic/Pages/Chronic-Conditions-and-School.aspx  Schulman-Green, D., Jaser, S., Martin, F., Alonzo, A., Grey, M., McCorkle, R., … Whittemore, R. (2012). Processes of self-management in chronic illness.  Journal of nursing scholarship : an official publication of Sigma Theta Tau International Honor Society of Nursing ,  44 (2), 136–144. doi:10.1111/j.1547-5069.2012.01444.x  Shinn. M.M. (2018). 6 Tips to Prepare for Your Teen’s Independence.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/6-tips-to-prepare-for-your-teens-independence   Shinn. M.M. (2019). 10 Tricks for Talking Back and Keeping Safe with Bullies.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/10-tricks-for-talking-back-and-keeping-safe-from-bullies    Shinn. M.M. (2018). Does My Child Need Accommodations on the SAT/ACT?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/does-my-child-need-accommodations-for-the-sat-act   Shinn. M.M. (2018). Life Success – Is It About Persistence or Following Your Passion?  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/life-success-is-it-about-persistence-or-following-your-passion   Shinn. M.M. (2019). My Kid Might Be Held Back a Grade – What Do I Do?!  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-might-be-held-back-a-grade-what-do-i-do    Shinn. M.M. (2018). Take the Stress Out of Tests! 11 Ways to Manage Test Anxiety.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/take-the-stress-out-of-tests-11-ways-to-manage-test-anxiety   Shinn. M.M. (2018). Should I Let My Teen Get a Job? 10 Things Parents Should Know.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from  https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/should-i-let-my-teen-get-a-job-10-things-parents-should-know    When a Kid Has Long-Term Illness: How to Deal with School (2010).  Education.com.  Retrieved from https://www.education.com/magazine/article/Chronic-illness-schools/   How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn. M.M. (2019). Taking Chronic Illness to School: 9 Tips to Stay Safe & Healthy.  Psychologically Speaking.  [Variations Psychology blog post]. Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/my-kid-has-a-chronic-illness-how-do-i-prepare-them-for-school

“My Kid Has a Chronic Illness – How Do I Prepare Them for School?”

From asthma to diabetes and epilepsy to cancer, 1 in 4 children go to school each year with a chronic illness. If your kid has a chronic illness, check out this week’s blog for 9 tips to ensure their health and success as they go back to school.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      Life Success – Is it about Persistence or Following Your Passion?   Listen to the podcast for this blog post here     

 
 
      “Everybody’s life is either rewarding or an example.” -Tony Robbins   Remember that person in high school who was insanely smart, but just didn’t have the drive to reach their potential? You know, that kid that always seemed bored in class, aced every test, but couldn’t be bothered to do their homework. After all, they knew all the answers, had their career plans, so why do the extra work? We’ve also known someone who wasn’t necessarily the most passionate or intelligent one in school, but worked tirelessly to accomplish anything and everything expected of them, no matter how necessary the task seemed.  So where are they now?   Einstein flunked and ended up alright   Whether passion or persistence is more important to success is a long-debated topic. Of course, there are several examples of drop-outs achieving massive success like Steve Jobs, Lady Gaga, and Bill Gates to name a few. But is passion truly enough in and of itself to help a person lead a successful, fulfilling life?      Motivation matters   There are two types of motivation that drive our behaviors: intrinsic and extrinsic. Motivation is considered intrinsic if a person is driven by the natural satisfaction that will result from their achievement. Intrinsic motivation energizes our feelings of passion and fulfillment. Motivation that is extrinsic is driven by trying to earn a tangible reward or to avoid punishment – this type of motivation is reflected in persistence and hard work, as it is not necessarily enjoyable or interesting to engage in, but is necessary to receive an end-goal.   For example…   If a child is naturally drawn to learning languages, they might study French for the mere satisfaction of knowing how to communicate common phrases. They may watch YouTube tutorials on their own time or even become a French Professor someday. This passion to master French would be intrinsically motivated. If the same child isn’t as inclined to achievement in science, their parent might offer them an extrinsic reward, such as money or a new game, if they can improve their biology grade. The student’s persistence to perform in biology may end after meeting their minimum obligation, or they may discover that they love it now that they dedicated some time to studying it.   Which one will get my kid on the Honor Roll?   Both passion and persistence are important to success, and it is difficult to reach one’s potential without combination of both. Think of the winter Olympics – you can often tell which figure skaters are the ones with the most natural talent and passion – they have a sense of effortlessness, as if that’s what they were born to do. Then you have the ones who weren’t necessarily “born with it” but for fame, financial security, or other motivations have worked themselves to the bone to get where they are – their performance resonates with determination and precision. At the end of the day, they get scored on both technique and presentation, so the ones with a strong sense of passion and persistence have the best odds.   Passion without persistence    "The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary." -Vidal Sassoon   A person with passion and poor persistence is likely to give up when challenges arise. No matter how strong a person’s passions or talents are, they will eventually come up against obstacles that threaten their upward mobility. For example, let’s say your child is a prodigy artist who dreams of having their own gallery. However, they know nothing about running a business and didn’t put much effort in school, thinking an artist really has no need for learning the Pythagorean theorem. Without the persistence and drive to learn effective practices and develop a convincing business model, they would not qualify for a loan to open their gallery, nor would their gallery be likely to succeed if it did open.   Persistence without passion    "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do… Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it." -Steve Jobs   A person with persistence but no passion may not be quick to give up, but their performance will likely not be at the same level as someone who is passionate - nor will they feel the same sense of fulfillment, and well-being is an important element in success. What’s more, passion empowers persistence; studies show that students who are passionate about a topic are more likely to persist through challenges that arise in mastering the subject.   Synergy = Success   Cultivating both your child’s passions and persistency are the best way to equip them for success. When these two traits work together, a child is motivated by the fulfillment of the task at hand, and believes in their ability to overcome challenges that might otherwise prompt them to give up.   Got it - so how do I support them?     Here are some tips to foster persistence and passion in your child:    1. Teach active coping     "It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.'" – Hans Selye   At each stage of a child’s development, there are social and academic stressors that present themselves. Students that employ active coping mechanisms tend to perform better than those who use avoidant methods. Avoidant coping includes procrastination, angry outbursts, over or under eating, or blaming others for their stress. When your child is feeling stressed, encourage them to positively affirm themselves, record their thoughts in a journal, vent to a friend, and set time each day for relaxing and enjoyable activities. Emotional intelligence is strongly correlated with academic success.   2. Consider your family culture    “A man is but the product of his thoughts; what he thinks, he becomes.” -Mahatma Gandhi   For all of you Game of Thrones fans, what do you think of when you hear the name “Lannister”? Aside from power thirsty tyrants, you may recall the saying, “A Lannister always pays his debts.” Your child will internalize the identity traits that you associate with your family. Develop a mantra that you say whenever challenges arise, “We are a strong family. We don’t give up when times get tough!” Convey that persistency is a part of who you are.   3. Empower through responsibility    "Whenever you see a successful person, you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them." -Vaibhav Shah   Giving your child age-appropriate responsibilities builds their sense of competency. Task your school-aged child with feeding or walking your pets, washing the dishes, and laying out their clothing for school. Encourage a part-time job for your teenager or young adult living at home. However, be sure that responsibilities are increased gradually and that you leave ample time for them to relax and unwind; burning them out will reduce their feelings of autonomy and passion for what they are doing.   4. Develop alternate pathways    “The only problem we really have is we think we’re not supposed to have problems! Problems call us to higher level – face & solve them now!” -Tony Robbins   When you are inspired to achieve something, you’re more likely to find ways to overcome obstacles. For example, if you’ve always dreamt of becoming a nurse but just can’t seem to pass anatomy, you’d probably spring for a tutor. If you didn’t see how that class impacted your dream, you wouldn’t be motivated to spend your time or money on extra help and might just drop the class. The same goes for your kids; when they encounter obstacles, they may not always be motivated to seek alternate pathways on their own. Discuss their challenges, collaborate to explore different approaches, and discover strategies together. Model that obstacles are not a reason to abandon a task.   5. Celebrate failure    “Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness.” -Oprah Winfrey   Remind your child that the most successful people in the world have failed more times than most others have tried. Failure paves the way for success, and the true failure is giving up. Even if your child is engaging in something they are talented at and passionate about, they won’t always bat a thousand, and that’s a good thing. Resist rescuing them every time they get frustrated or say they can’t do something. Intervening deprives them of their opportunity to learn from trial and error.   6. Be strategic with incentives    “Without delayed gratification, there is no persistence.” -Sunday Adelaja   Don’t offer your child money or ice cream for every task you want them to accomplish. In the real world, there will be things they have to get done that won’t offer instant gratification. Incentives tend to be more effective for projects in which quantity is the goal –tasks that are repetitive and non-complex, such as writing vocabulary words 25 times. For these types of tasks, an incentive may increase your child’s motivation. For tasks where quality is the end goal, however, incentives can damper their performance. Try to avoid offering incentives for tasks requiring broad, creative thinking.   Some tips for cultivating passions:     1. Listen to their dreams    "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." -Jim Rohn   Self-determination theory suggests that humans have three innate needs:    A need to feel competent    A need to feel related    A need to feel autonomous    These three needs are what energize passion. If you are pressuring or guilting your child over their school performance, they will not feel competent or autonomous. Listen to their feelings about the subjects they dislike. Acknowledge their feelings, be positive about their passions, and try to help them connect the dots between their dreams and obligations. For example, if they dream of being the next big rock star, explain how math can improve their guitar skills.   2.Empower goal-setting    "The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus." -Bruce Lee   “Academic hope” refers to the process of thinking about one’s goals, the motivation to achieve those goals, and one’s plans to achieve them. Students with high academic hope tend to have increased success. Model goal-setting, planning, and achievement in everyday life. Share your past and present goals, plans, and achievements. Demonstrate that your passions and interests are important to you, and you are willing to do what it takes to pursue them. Talk to your child about their goals, ask them about their action plans, and supportively listen to their ideas. Positively reinforce them each time they make progress.      3. Help them connect    "If people like you, they're going to want to do business with you. And if they don't, you're going to have an almost insurmountable obstacle to overcome." -Barbara Corcoran   Students who actively engage with peers and faculty at their school are more likely to succeed. Encourage your child to join clubs, attend tutoring groups, and approach their teachers for extra help or just to discuss interesting concepts.     4. IQ isn’t the be-all end-all    "As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." -Bill Gates   While you want to support your child’s intellectual growth, knowledge and reasoning are not the only factors that contribute to academic success. Put as much emphasis on character building. Traits related to leadership, responsibility, perseverance, and adaptability have all shown correlation with higher GPA’s.   5. Consult a specialist   If you are concerned about your child’s motivations, coping skills, and academic success, a specialist in education can help your child get the most out of their scholastic experience. A specialist will evaluate your child’s challenges, determine the possible presence of any learning disorders, and develop a customized plan to empower you to support their growth.      
	 Click here to find the specialist that’s right for you 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams). See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a   call   and we will guide you.  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.      
  
       References   Cerasoli, C., Nicklin, J., & Ford, M. (2014). Intrinsic Motivation and Extrinsic Incentives Jointly Predict Performance: A 40-Year Meta-Analysis.  Psychological Bulletin,   140 (4), 980-1008.  GreatSchools.org, Crawford, L. (2016) Teaching Young Kids Persistence. https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/teaching-persistence-1st-and-2nd-grade/   Hansen, Michele Joann, Trujillo, Daniel J., Boland, Donna L., & MacKinnon, Joyce L. (2014). Overcoming Obstacles and Academic Hope: An Examination of Factors Promoting Effective Academic Success Strategies.  Journal of College Student Retention: Research, Theory & Practice,   16 (1), 49-71.  Hen, M., & Goroshit, M. (2014). Academic Procrastination, Emotional Intelligence, Academic Self-Efficacy, and GPA.  Journal of Learning Disabilities,47 (2), 116-124.  Michigan State University, Student Work Archive https://msu.edu/~dwong/StudentWorkArchive/CEP900F01-RIP/Webber-IntrinsicMotivation.htm    Tamez, J. (2014). Assessing the values of "talent' versus "performance'. Supermarket News.      How to Cite This Blog Article:   Shinn, M.M. (2018). Life Success – Is it about Persistence or Following Your Passion?   Psychologically     Speaking.   [Variations Psychology blog post].  Retrieved from https://www.variationspsychology.com/blogs/life-success-is-it-about-persistence-or-following-your-passion

“Everybody’s life is either rewarding or an example.” -Tony Robbins

Remember that person in high school who was insanely smart, but just didn’t have the drive to reach their potential? You know, that kid that always seemed bored in class, aced every test, but couldn’t be bothered to do their homework. After all, they knew all the answers, had their career plans, so why do the extra work? We’ve also known someone who wasn’t necessarily the most passionate or intelligent one in school, but worked tirelessly to accomplish anything and everything expected of them, no matter how necessary the task seemed.

So where are they now?