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      8 Secrets for Sticking to Your New Year’s Resolution     January 1st tends to give us that “new year, new me” feeling. We all know that rush of motivation to make this the year we shed 10 pounds, pay off debts, or take our career to the next level. But then February rolls around and suddenly it’s like a switch has been flipped – your ambition fades, your motivation plummets, & excuses start pulling you away from reaching your goal. Before you know it, December arrives and the resolution you set in January is now a distant memory. At best, you’re no closer to your goal. At worst, you’re even further from it.    Research suggests that roughly 81% of New Year’s resolutions go unaccomplished by the end of the year. So what can a person do to make it in that mythical 19% of goal achievers?     1. Rely on your “why”   Before you determine what your goals will be, focus on “why” you desire a change in your life. Are you wanting to be healthier so you can play with your grandkids? Do you long to give your family a financially stable future? Keep a picture of your “why” as your smartphone’s screensaver. Revisit your “why” when your motivation wears thin and you feel like giving up.      2. Get a SMART start   Now that you’ve established your “why,” grab a pen and write down your goal. The act of writing goals down will make you feel more accountable for achieving them. As you detail what you aim to accomplish, make sure your goals pass the SMART criteria:   Specific  – Your goal must be clear and well-defined. If possible, stick with one specific resolution rather than aiming for several lifestyle changes at once.    Measurable  – Your goal should be broken down into small milestones and detailed steps so that you can measure your success along the way. Keeping charts or journals of your progress will help you stay on track.    Attainable  – Goals should be challenging but also realistic. Avoid “all-or-nothing” thinking and make restrictions reasonable. Instead of saying, “I’m not going to eat any sweets until 2020,” make your goal to limit sweets to twice a week.    Relevant  - Goals should support your “why” and be relevant to the direction you want your life to take. By keeping goals aligned with your vision and values, you'll be more likely to stick with them.   Time Bound  - Your goals must have a deadline, otherwise you’ll keep putting them off when challenges arise.   3. Fake it til you make it   Even if you don’t feel fully confident that you’ll achieve your goal this year, talk a big game. The language you use to describe your goal will influence how invested you are in making it happen. “I will quit smoking,” rather than, “I’d like to quit.” “I’m going to pass the bar exam,” rather than, “I’ll try to pass.” Go public and tell your friends and family about the goal you’re   going   to achieve in 2019.     4. Make an action plan   Failing to plan is planning to fail. This is especially true for demanding or long-term goals. Make an action plan of detailed steps you need to achieve to accomplish your end-goal.      Example: Goal – To open a coffee shop by December of 2019.   January/February – Develop my business and marketing plan   March/April – Find a property to lease for the shop  May/June - Apply for a small business loan  July/August – Acquire a business license and develop the menu   September/October – Establish vendors and startup inventory   November/December - Open doors and start carrying out marketing plan   5. Be good with bite-sized   Celebrate when you achieve smaller, bite-sized goals that contribute to your big picture plan. Setting out to achieve more micro-goals will feel less overwhelming than if you only focus on your long-term ambitions. Breaking your goals down into small and manageable portions will make you less likely to give up.      6. Try the “if-then” method   The if-then method is an effective secret-weapon for top goal achievers – people who use the if-then method are more than twice as likely to achieve their goals than people who don’t. The if-then method recognizes that there will be temptations to fail and creates a plan for how to work around them. To use the if-then method, think about what situations might tempt you to fall off-track. Then, create an if-then plan to prepare yourself to avoid falling into their trap.     Example:     Goal:  To save $500 per month for savings and investments.    If-then statements to avoid temptations:      If   I buy Christmas gifts,   then   I will stick to my budget    If   I go to the mall,   then   I will avoid expensive clothing stores    If   I go grocery shopping,   then   I will stick to my shopping list   7. Don’t quit after setbacks  Many people use screwups and setbacks as an excuse to drop their goal altogether. Give yourself some grace and be determined not to throw in the towel if you stumble along the way – even if it means you have to adjust your deadlines a bit.     8. Call on a coach   Making major life changes is challenging, but people are more successful when they have a supportive coach to hold them accountable. Our specialists can help you define SMART goals, create realistic action plans, and support you each step of the way.      


   
     
      
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      Dr. Christopher J. Sample, Psy.D.  specializes in supporting men and teenage boys through life’s transitions. If you have a teenage son who struggles with goal attainment or motivation, Dr. Sample can provide a comfortable place for him to overcome obstacles and work toward success.  Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Sample.      
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Sample 
       Cynthia R. Johnson, LMFT,  is a specialist in Parenting and Child Therapy at Variations Psychology. If you would like to see your family rise to higher goals in 2019, Cynthia can empower you to set and achieve your ambitions in any aspect of life.       
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Cynthia 
       Dr. Marta M. Shinn, Ph.D.,  is an expert in child and educational psychology. If your child struggles with motivation issues and goal attainment, Dr. Shinn can provide diagnostic testing and recommend support to help your child develop a goal-oriented lifestyle.       
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Shinn 
       Dr. Daniella A. Davis, Psy.D.,  is an expert in dealing with the unique challenges that women face throughout each stage of life. If you are a woman struggling with achieving your dreams, Dr. Davis can help you move forward on a clear path toward reaching your goals.       
	 Click here to schedule your appointment with Dr. Davis 
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              The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.   References:   “Beyond Goal Setting to Goal Flourishing.” (2017).  American Psychological Association . Retrieved from: www.apa.org/pubs/highlights/spotlight/issue-101.aspx.  Crawford, Nicole (2002). “Positivity Pays off for Winners of Psychology's Top Monetary Prize.”    American Psychological Association , Aug. 2002, Retrieved from: www.apa.org/monitor/julaug02/positivity.aspx.  Norcross JC1, Mrykalo MS, Blagys MD. (2002). Auld lang syne: success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers. J Clin Psychol. 2002 Apr;58(4):397-405.  Stringer, Heather (2017). “Boosting Productivity.”  American Psychological Association.  Retrieved from: www.apa.org/monitor/2017/09/boosting-productivity.aspx.

8 Secrets for Sticking to Your New Year’s Resolution

Are you overflowing with motivation to achieve your goals in January, only to fall off the wagon once February rolls around? If so, check out this week’s blog to learn 8 secrets to make your goals stick in 2019.

     

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
                  
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      Best of Psychologically Speaking - 2018    What an amazing year 2018 has been!     Thank you to our blog followers who have inspired our team to share on topics that impact so many of our lives.    After launching our blog in February of this year, we wanted to give a recap of some of the year’s most popular blogs and get our readers excited for what’s to come in 2019!   Catch up on blogs you missed or reread your favorites! Here is a recap of our 10 most popular blogs from the past year:     1.   “IS MY CHILD ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES?”       

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     This blog dove into the growing epidemic of video game addiction, helping parents to understand warning signs and discover loving and effective interventions.   2.    “MY KID STILL WETS THE BED. WHAT SHOULD I DO?”          

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     In this blog we uncovered reasons that can contribute to an older child’s bedwetting and shared expert tips on helping your kid achieve more dry nights.      3.    HOW TO CARE FOR AGING PARENTS WHILE RAISING A FAMILY: 8 TIPS FOR THE SANDWICH GENERATION         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     This blog shed light on the pressures and struggles of the sandwich generation – adults responsible for raising kids while also caring for their aging parents. We shared 8 practical tips to care for your family members without compromising your own self-care.      4.    TALKING TO YOUR TEEN ABOUT PUBERTY:  SON EDITION DAUGHTER EDITION         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     Watching your kids transition from children to adults is exciting, but it also comes with some awkward, confusing, and uncomfortable moments. Our team shared pointers for parents on connecting and communicating with their sons and daughters throughout puberty.      5.    CO-PARENTING OVER SUMMER: 10 TIPS FOR A DRAMA FREE VACAY         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     Vacations can be a tough time to co-parent when schedules are thrown to the wind and both sides have varying plans. Check out this blog for tips on making co-parenting a breeze during your kid’s next break from school.     6.    5 TIPS FOR RAISING EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT CHILDREN         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     Our specialists explained the critical importance of EQ in your child’s development and shared their top 5 tips in ensuring your child’s healthy emotional growth     7.    GRADUATE STUDENT’S GUIDE TO TEST ACCOMMODATIONS         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     In this blog we cracked the code of applying for accommodations on graduate and professional exams such as the LSAT, MCAT, GRE, NCLEX, CBEST, GMAT, Cosmetology Exam, Contractor’s Exam, and Bar Exam. We provided tons of direct links and resources to make your life a whole lot easier!     8.    SHOULD MY CHILD HAVE AN EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL? 10 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW            

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     What’s the difference between an emotional support animal (ESA) and a service animal? Can an ESA benefit your child emotionally? Would your kid qualify? Check out this blog to find out!      9.     “AM I AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT PARENT?” 6 TIPS FOR MOMS & DADS TO BOOST THEIR EQ         

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     Every parent wants their kid to have a high EQ, but how does your EQ measure up? This blog helps parents evaluate their own emotional intelligence and provides 6 tips to parent with a high EQ.      10.    “HOLD YOUR PEEPEE!” 12 TIPS TO HELP YOUR CHILD MANAGE IMPULSIVITY          

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


     Do you have an impulsive kid? Then you’ll appreciate this popular blog chocked full of useful tips to get your child to “hold their pee pee!” and think before they act.      Bonus Blog!     Click    here    to check out how Variations started with the brain behind the blog & practice,  Dr. Marta M. Shinn      

  

    
       
      
         
          
             
          
             
                  
             
          
             
          

          

         
      
       
    

  


      2018 - That’s a Wrap!  Stay tuned for our exciting lineup of topics in 2019!      Our team appreciates our readers and we are excited to share on more impactful topics in 2019. We will be addressing psychological issues for infants, children, teens, young adults, men, women, and seniors.    Need a topic for coffee talk?   Chat about  Psychologically Speaking  each week with your friends and family! Share and encourage your loved ones to subscribe to our blog and learn expert tips on empowering your families together.   Click here to subscribe to  Psychologically Speaking   The purpose of this article is to provide an overview of the highlighted topic. For a full consultation, assessment, and personalized treatment plan, schedule an appointment  with one of our specialists.   More about Variations Psychology   Variations Psychology is a group practice specializing in Child and Family Psychology.  Our specialists provide therapy to infants, children, adolescents, and adults to help them overcome the many challenges they may face throughout the lifespan of a family. We also conduct diagnostic testing of child and adult conditions that may impact the family’s mental health and development (e.g. ADHD, Autism Depression, Anxiety, Learning Disorders, college entrance exams, graduate and professional licensing exams such as MCAT, LSAT, GRE, CBEST, NCLEX, GMAT, CA Cosmetology Exam, CA Contractors State Licensing Exam, and CA Bar Exam).  See our   Specialists   page to select the specialist that best suits your need, or simply give us a call and we will guide you..  Variations Psychology is located in Newport Beach, CA and provides counseling to residents throughout Orange County and its surrounding areas including Newport Beach, Newport Coast, Irvine, Shady Canyon, Laguna Beach, Laguna Hills, Coto de Caza, Corona del Mar, Costa Mesa, Yorba Linda, Dana Point, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, Pelican Hill, Crystal Cove, Rancho Santa Margarita, San Clemente, Lake Forest, Huntington Beach, Sunset Beach, Seal Beach, and more.

Best of Psychologically Speaking - 2018

What a great year 2018 has been for our blog! Thank you to all of our followers for your support – we hope you’ve gotten a lot out of this year’s articles. Check out this week’s blog for a recap of our 10 most popular blogs in 2018.